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This Was Hard, But it Changed My Entire Perspective Forever

Good Monday Everyone: 

If you remember last Monday, I began a series where I answered some of your questions. Specifically, many of you listen in to my radio interview, which generated some thoughts. You can listen to my interview and Dineen’s by scrolling down and click on the audio link. 

One of the first questions arrived in an email from a friend who is also unequally yoked. She asked: In the radio interview you said: You are happily married to your best friend - how is that? How can a believer and an unbeliever be happy under the same roof let alone be best friends? 

Scroll down to read last week’s post because today, I will tell you how God led me to get over myself and how he replaced my loneliness with fulfillment. 

Many of you know how I began this blog. I wanted to share the healing I received and the hope I have for my spiritually mismatched marriage. Jesus was my rescue and although our marriage was still far from perfect, He was desperate for me to help other discover hope for their lives. So I started writing and sharing the hope I have here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. 

Next month SUM will be four years old. But, it was in the very early, early days of blogging where my sadness and frustration over my marriage and my unmet expectations were forever changed. It began with a private email from a woman who stumbled upon the blog within the first few months of its launch. 

I can’t remember exactly what she wrote and I have not had contact with her in years but her email changed my perspective forever. Today, I want to share with you what she shared with me. I want to share how in an instant, her words changed my view of my marriage forever. 

As I recall, she was an older woman married, I believe, for more than 25 years. What she went on to tell me is difficult and I think I need to share it today to help some of you see your husband with new appreciation. 

She said she loved her husband very much but her life has been a struggle. She is committed to her marriage because she is committed to the Lord and His teachings. But, her husband struggled over the years with a tendency toward Transvestism (also called transvestitism) is the practice of cross-dressing, which is wearing the clothing of the opposite sex. Not only this but also, Infantilism is characterized by the desire to wear diapers, due to reasons other than medical necessity, and/or be treated as an infant or toddler. 

I didn’t even know what these conditions were. I had to look them up. 

I read her email and bawled. I cried for her pain and for the brokenness of our world. 

I still grieve it today. 

I absolutely do not judge this woman as to why she chooses to stay and live in her marriage, facing these unimaginable struggles. I am certain many don’t understand why I cling to my marriage when there appears no hope of resolution in the immediate future. 

She loves her husband. She is honoring the Lord. God sees her heart. 

But……. On that day, my life was forever changed. I knew I see my husband with a new vision of love and appreciation. 

My husband is a good man. He is in every way what I want with the exception of knowing Christ. How can I ever be disappointed in the light of what this other woman lives in day-after-day? 

So, if you are feeling unhappy about your spouse, pause and ask God to help you see Him as He does. Then take action. 


When I decided to serve God and His Kingdom, my expectations about my spouse changed almost immediately. I discovered there are always others who live in situations  far worse than we can comprehend. It makes your life look pretty, darn, good.  

You don’t need to start a blog. But you could start a small study group for unequally yoked like my friend, Cindi. Cindi started a small group study for unequally yoked women in her church in January. I have much to share with you about her and her ministry. She also wrote me with some fascinating questions, which I will answer next week. 

Look for somewhere to serve. It doesn’t need to be the homeless or in Haiti. It could be once a month at a woman’s shelter. I bet that would change your heart immediately about your place in life. You can sing in the choir, help in children’s groups. But serve where your heart calls you and mostly serve in how God has gifted you. 

God will reward you a bazillions times over. REALLY! 

We MUST take our eyes off ourselves and place Jesus firmly on the throne of our life. Only then will be free to find the fantastic joy He has waiting. Jesus wants to raise us up to be more than we are. When He does so, it brings Him glory. 

And He WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN. That’s a promise. 

Can any of you tell me how you started to serve people and how it changed your life? I so, want to celebrate what God is doing. Also, if you have other ideas and areas where women can serve and not create more stress in their marriage, I would love to hear about them. 

I am an ordinary woman and an ordinary wife but I serve an extraordinary God. 

Be blessed this Monday. I love you. Please write me as I stand ready to pray as a prayer warrior over you, your husband, and your family this week. Hugs, Lynn

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