The usuals, like chocolates and a romantic card are always great fallbacks. I like those myself, but could I do something more? Maybe something that would even reflect the love God holds for him?
What could I give sacrificially to show how much I love him? This line of thinking led me down a unique path. Instead of what I can do, maybe I should think about what I shouldn’t do.
No nagging. If I’ve asked him to do something several times, instead of bugging him, I’ll ask him if it’s okay if I remind him again. When I ask permission first, he seems much more receptive.
No expectations. I find this usually happens when I make the very self-centered assumption that he thinks like I do. (Let me know when you’ve stopped laughing.) I’m currently reading For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn so I can understand my hubby’s inner life and thought processes better.
No wrong assumptions. If we have a miscommunication, I don’t want to jump to the wrong conclusion and assume he meant one thing when in actuality, he meant something else. I want to assume the best instead of the worst.
No resentment. It’s so easy to hang on to the past and believe the patterns of the past will be the patterns of the present. This is definitely my weakness. I don’t want to dredge up the past when a conflict arises and assume (there’s that word again) that it will turn out the same. I will choose to believe the best outcome is possible.
Human nature doesn’t make these situations any easier. And the enemy uses them very strategically to attack our relationships and marriages. It’s so easy to fall into these patterns and find we are controlled by the ensuing chaos instead of being in control of our reactions, thoughts, and beliefs. We become reactive instead of proactive.
So, it boils down to this. Am I willing to move my own selfish wants and desires out of the middle of the equation and put my husband in that place? To really put him first? Am I willing to sacrifice my selfishness and let the light of Christ shine through to this lost soul?
Let’s just say I’m working on it. I’m a work in progress. We all are. We won’t reach perfection, by no means, but a willing heart seems a good place to start.
And I’ll leave the results to God.
Praying and believing,