Spiritually Unequal Marriage

Church or no-Church; The Conclusion

It’s a typical hot July day here in sunny Southern California. It’s Sunday afternoon. I am in my office and I can hear my hubby clearing the kitchen of the lunch dishes. I am remembering the morning. I woke today wondering about church or no church. Would he go? Would he stay home?

What do you think happened this morning?

Before I tell you how the morning played out let’s rewind, I think it was Wednesday – no Thursday. My husband and I were in the family room watching television. I can’t recall how this conversation began but, the television was quieted as we discussed the upcoming weekend get-togethers on the calendar.

During this conversation I inserted, “No matter what, you will find this girl in church come Sunday morning.” I smiled. “I have missed it and can’t wait to be there this week.” You see, I haven’t attended now for two weeks. It feels like two years. I made certain that my tone of voice was kind and even keeled as I spoke. I didn’t want him to feel guilt or judgment. I only wanted to assert that church this weekend, was one event I would not miss. The unspoken message hung above us. You are free to go with me; you are free to stay home.

He changed his posture sitting up and leaning forward he said, “You do know that for the past couple of Sunday’s I was willing to attend church. I set the alarm and would have gone with you.”

I should clarify right now that it was me who chose to stay home over the past two Sundays. Not because I was pouting or angry or trying to make a point. I just felt like I needed to be home and let things settle out.

I looked at my man, “You know, I am completely sincere about this Honey, don’t go to church just to please me. Don’t go because you think it will make me happy or that it’s good for our marriage. I promise you, it is okay to stay home and I won’t be mad.”

“I wasn’t planning to go just for you. I want to go for me too.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Fast forward. It’s Sunday morning. My guy was up late the night before, so I pretty much knew he wouldn’t roll out of bed in time. Then…….

Behold!

At 9:10 a.m. he shuffled down the hall in search of coffee. A miracle in itself, as he is a definite night owl and up later than usual to boot. I smiled at his tired face. He mumbled something about a nap and sat down with his steaming mug.

I headed off to get dressed and he followed shortly. He was moving slow and I thought to myself, we are going to be late again. But, I kept those words to myself for once and gave him grace.

We arrived at church, the three of us, including teen-daughter. We sat down in the sanctuary with one minute to spare. We were at church together. No anger, no rolling of the eyes, no pressure, no guilt, only love.

Now that’s a great end to this story.

Sometimes I just sit down and ask Jesus, “Why are you so patient with me? I seem to make things harder for You, Lord. Forgive me.”

I have learned many lessons over the past several weeks. It is hard to share with you how my selfishness can get in the way of God’s efforts, how human I can be, and how I can struggle to truly practice what I preach. Gulp, but I pray that someone will read this story and realize that God will go to great lengths to change a selfish little girl like me and to reach out to an unbeliever like my husband. He NEVER stops working on our character, our relationships nor our marriages. He never stops pursing the lost.

And He will never give up on you either. NEVER!

He loves us that much. How awesome is that?

Be Blessed, Lynn

Church or no-Church, Part I

Church or no-Church, Part II

Church or no-Church, Part III

When God Leads

“When you sense an answer from the Lord and your husband doesn't, how do you communicate WHY you feel moved to do what God said?”

A friend of mine posed this question to me recently. At first I didn’t know how to answer, because I couldn’t recall a situation where this happened. Don’t you know God brought a time to mind as I relayed a story to someone a couple weeks later?

Almost two years ago, my daughter started talking about getting a dog. We already had four cats, so I didn’t take her idea too seriously, nor did her dad. Yet, she persisted and even found the dog she wanted in an online search. A search that shouldn’t have shown her this particular dog, but for some reason did. That was my first inkling God was at work.

As the week progressed, I sensed deep in my spirit that my daughter needed this dog. She’d had a difficult time in seventh grade, and I’d decided to homeschool her for the next school year in an attempt to see if we could help her depression.

But how could I explain this to my husband? I knew if I brought God into the discussion, the validity of my case would diminish. So, I presented it as a mother trying to do what she thought best. I knew this dog would be important to our daughter and that’s exactly how I presented the situation, with a lot of prayer of course.

At the time my husband trusted my judgment, and now he too sees how important this special dog has been to our daughter, especially during her brain surgeries, treatment, and now her recovery. In the two years since, what I sensed from God has been affirmed over and over again as his way of preparing us for what laid ahead and providing what we would need to persevere.

Through prayers and God’s guidance I was able to present my position in a way that respected my husband and honored God.

As unequally yoked spouses, these types of situations are inevitable, but if God’s the one leading us in a certain direction, he’ll surely help us get there.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Going Alone? Oh No Siree!

I sat down a few minutes ago to prepare this post. Before I started typing, I stopped to pray. I prayed for all of you who read the posts, Church or no-Church. I thanked the Lord, our Great King for each of you who took time to leave me your thoughts, your prayers, your concerns and your experiences.

Church or No-Church, Part I

Church of No-Church, Part II

I have read and re-read your comments just now. I have tears in my eyes. I have been writing here for three years and the advice and love and comfort all of you have given through your comments is some of the best I have EVER read. I encourage all of you to read the comments from last week. Such words of wisdom. You may very well leave your computer today….. CHANGED. PERMANANTLY – CHANGED!

I know that I am.

On Friday I wrote that I was seeking answers from the Lord and how He is always faithful to answer when I pursue His wisdom. Girls and men, He did not fail me. I have a powerful story and prayer to share.

Before I tell you what happened, I think it is important to point out some interesting observations from all of your comments.

First, not all of us agree. After reading through the comments and the private emails I received, it looks like the church or no-church decision is very personal and individualized.

Second, it appears most of us actually have grappled with this very choice and have spent considerable hours, years in prayer and in thought, determining what is appropriate for ourselves, our kids and especially our husbands. These decisions were not made lightly.

Third, many of you found your spouse attending after you released pressure on them. hmmmmm

Fourth, many spouses attend to make their wives happy and that works as well. hmmmmm

Fifth, the enemy is often at work in this situation. (Boy, is that the truth)

Okay, now I want to share a direct message that came to Lynn Donovan on the beach Thursday afternoon. The minute I heard these words, I knew Jesus was correcting my perspective and re-directing my path. The words spoken to me were what I needed to hear and penetrating. I am changed.

So, here goes…

I am fortunate enough to have a small group of friends from my church. We meet together once a week to review the pastor’s message and to pray for one another. Until this year, I was never comfortable as a “married-single” to be part of an intimate group like this. I always felt like a third wheel among all the couples. But, my friend, Pam, loved me so much and welcomed me after inviting me year after year to join the small community, that I felt ready. Thank you Pam!

Well, because most of the families in our group are on a budget, we look for inexpensive ways to enjoy the summer with our kids. The beach is perfect. Free rides on the waves, beach combing and you pack a lunch.

On Thursday, I arrived at the beach and joined a few of the other gals there. I sat down with Gina and Jolene and I shared with them my struggle with this church or no-church thing. They know me and my husband and listened with loving hearts and ears.

I explained my dilemma, “Jolene, it is just so hard to sit there (in church) when he is angry. I don’t want him there.”

Jolene, looked at me and she said. “So what.”

Hunh? No mercy here. Jolene isn’t one to beat around the bush.

She went on in a kind and loving voice. Her message was not to hurt but honestly to help. “Lynn, you know that my husband and I were unequally yoked for many years. He came to Christ a little over five years ago. But before he was saved I would literally be on my knees before the Lord, begging Him to place Himself anywhere and everywhere in front of my husband.”

Hunh?

“I would pray, “”Oh Father, place yourself in front of my man at every turn. Put a Christian man next to him on the airplane today. Father, let my husband catch a glimpse of you through a song, or something on television tonight. Lord, surround him with other business people who love You at his meeting today.””

“Lynn, I wanted my husband surrounded by the Lord. If you want the same, you will want him at church too. Let go of yourself here and if your man is willing to go to church then rejoice as you sit next to him, because the Lord is answering prayer.”

Gulp!

“Oh, Jolene, you are absolutely right.” I knew in my heart, for me, the right thing was to get over myself. And at that instant I did. How dare I let this be about me?

On Thursday as I sat under a cloudy sky at the beach, the Lord spoke. He didn’t speak audibly but through a wise and Jesus-loving friend, Jolene. I now pray much differently and with a new heart for my husband. I stopped asking the Lord to save my husband and to have him read the Bible and to open his spiritual eyes. These prayers are not wrong but I now I am moved to pray like this:

Oh Father, today let me just love him. Pour Your love into me is such a powerful and complete way that I am just bursting with You all over everyone and especially my husband. Father, I beg you to place Yourself before my man today. Be in front of him as he searches the employment boards for work today. Lord, place one or two men in his path at the store today or on the phone who know You. At the barbeque tonight, I ask that there would be one or two Christians who initiate a conversation with him. Lord, I ask you to surround him with You. Fill his morning, noon and night with some message that puts You smack in the front of his face. I ask Your will in his life and not my own.

Lord, YOU- sit on my throne.

 

You sit on my throne.

You sit on my throne.

I love you Jesus. I love you. Your humble servant, Lynn

Attending Chruch Alone Church or no-Church. What is a Girl to Do?

Continued from Monday.

I just couldn’t do it any longer. Sacrifice another morning. I survive because of those two little hours where I refuel, gain perspective and fill my soul with spiritual strength in order to face the week ahead and the spiritual battles which are inevitable.

His non-confrontational persona leapt forward and he mumbled something inaudible and shuffled myself and my daughter into a row. My eyes burned but I was able to sit through the service.

Which brings us to yesterday (last week), actually rewind a bit further to late Saturday evening. We arrived home after an evening with friends. I am angry because it is 1:00 a.m. and church in the morning is now doubtful. It is then that I decide the last straw has landed on my back. Such strange timing.

I launch into this tirade, “It looks like I am going to miss church again. I am angry because we were out late and you did nothing to wrap up the evening at an hour to allow me rest and to get up early to attend church with my small group.”

There is much more to this building dynamic which is the result of numerous repeats of this scenario. You will have to trust me on this. I didn’t freak-out over a single event. This is a long in the making.

Now bear with me on this me because this exchange appears selfish and in fact it may be. However, at this moment, I am truly over it! I don’t want my husband to EVER attend church with me again unless he wants to. The conversation ended with me flopping into bed.

The next morning, “Sweetie, I want you to know that I in fact, was planning to attend church with you. Not because it would make you happy but because I wanted to.”

Sheesh!

We didn’t make it to church. As I write this post, I am puzzling. How could I traverse a complete 360 about this most important topic and really mean it? More perplexing, I haven’t been able to work through the rightness of it nor God’s perspective (yet).

The way I see it, for years, I applied pressure on my husband to such a degree that he attended church ONLY to make me happy. The result, he finally starts attending we are both miserable.

This is my dilemma. I believed, with all that I am, church would reach my husband. Untrue as of right now. Furthermore, I think I am happier about going alone than sitting by my man and feeling the stress of his displeasure.

I know many of you KNOW exactly what I speak of. I am unable as of this moment to give you the answer but the answer I seek. Not only for me but for you who have also faced or will face this strange turn of events.

I commit this to you my friends, God has brought this situation alive and to the forefront. He is preparing a learning moment, dare I say, a paradigm shift for me and for many of you. I am seeking the truth of navigating – church or no-church, with fervent prayer and a persistence not present before.

Our Lord has never failed to show me the truth of my situations, marriage, parenting, friendships. I will remain faithful and trust He will do the same in this. And, when I know. You will know.

Until then, I want to hear from you and how many of you traverse the quandary of, Church or no-church. Share with me. Be Blessed, Lynn

I plan to talk with you about what I am learning about myself, this situation, about my husband's journey and our Great Big God on Monday. Please tune in for that conversation. It is gonna be good. Love ya! Lynn

Let’s Talk, Part 2

Last week we had a great discussion about communication. Lots of great comments and input. Let me see if I can summarize some of what was shared.

Talking: The true key to communication, although we do communicate with our body language and tone of voice, but we’ll leave that to another post. Kathleen gave us a good example of how she tried to meet her husband on his terms and interests. And based upon what she said, her efforts were rewarded. Her husband encouraged her. The point here is she took the time to find a way to involve herself in something her husband liked to do, therefore opening more opportunities for them to communicate and share. (Guess I’ll give disc golf another shot. Stay tuned for more on that one!)

Choices: Part of the underlying thread of communication is the choice to participate and even choose an activity conducive to talking. Having dinner instead of a movie. Taking a walk together for exercise instead of going to the gym and then going different directions. Or even doing activities in the same room—reading, like Gretchen’s example—but still keeping physical contact (there’s that body language again…) and being open to share and talk when the mood hits. Just be sure to pick an activity in which you and your spouse won’t mind interruptions. Kathryn made a great suggestion of having a regular date night. Here’s an opportunity to get creative in the planning and even challenge one another to try new things. Let’s admit it, part of the battle is falling into old routines that leave one or both spouses dissatisfied.

Part of this also applies to the situation like our anonymous friend shared. Yes, we want to reach out to our unbelieving spouses and find common ground, but we can’t compromise to sin in order to do it. God would never ask that of us anyway. Perhaps in anonymous’ case, the family could work together to find appropriate shows and movies they can watch together, and leave a clear boundary that he’s on his own when she and her son find the content offensive. Their actions will continue to speak volumes.

Setting Aside Agendas: With this comes Amber’s excellent point. Humility. If we can go into our effort to connect with our spouses with humility, with our own agendas set aside, perhaps we can reach them in new ways. Sure, it may mean doing something like wading through burrs and dry grass to find a Frisbee disc on a hot day, but am I willing to put aside my discomfort and make the point of the activity—to spend time together—the focus?

Rob gave us a reverse scenario of this one. He found something he felt would be interesting to both him and his wife. And not only that, it turned into an opportunity for him to share his faith. His persistence paid off.

Prayer: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, let’s pray and ask God to show us new ways to communicate with our spouses. When we’ve tried everything and have basically moved on to live separate lives for the most part as Grammy shared with us, I still believe God can break these barriers in ways we can’t even imagine. So yes, when we are in a difficult marriage, we should continue to grow and pursue our own interests, but we shouldn’t give up on our difficult spouses, nor throw that valuable respect Tamara talked about out the window. Nor should we keep ourselves stagnant just to make our spouse happy. The enemy would love nothing better. When we can’t seem to make any ground in these situations, God can. And we can too through his guiding hand and strength. (Phil. 4:13)

So, let's keep sharing new ways to communicate with our spouses. And if you see me on the disc golf range, be sure to wave hello. I’ll be the one picking burrs out of my socks.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Attending Church AloneChurch or no-Church

Things often play out very strange.

I am going to share a story with you. I am still trying to process the circumstances of the past two weeks looking for the hand-print of God in this. I would be interested to know if any of you have experienced what I experienced and how you processed it.

 _____

One of the most consistent Google searches which bring new readers to Spiritually Unequal Marriage is this: Attending Church Alone.

I am not surprised by this. For many years, going to church alone was an enormous obstacle for me. Our society is after all, structured primarily around couples. Ever been to the amusement park? Two chairs together on the roller coaster. What about going to the movie theater alone? Shudder!

And finally, church. Organized religion, for the most part, revolves around couples – families. I am not condemning this truth only pointing out that the typical church centers around husbands AND wives. Church leadership doesn’t intend to isolate singles. After all look at the many thriving singles programs churches offer.

However, being married and single is a category most churches can’t even begin to comprehend. With this said, the reality of attending church alone is excruciating. Many Sundays, I would sit down in the sanctuary by myself. Soon a cute couple would shuffle down the row in front of me. I always seemed to notice they were holding hands. Then they would sit directly in front of me thus making it impossible for me to ignore them. And finally they would shoot each other a dazzling, I-am-in-love-with-you-and-so-glad-to-be-in-church-with-you, smile.

Pain.

I’m not saying anything is wrong with this scenario. In fact, it is very right. But for me……. my heart could be wrenched right out of my chest. The pastor’s message would become lost as his words floated above me, indistinguishable because I was lost in a turbulent sea of unfulfilled longing which threatened to completely swallow me up. Anyone relate?

So now let me put a twist on this scenario. It’s utterly strange to me as I contemplate what I am going to share.

In the recent months since my husband's unemployment, he has attended church with me sporadically. Elated just doesn’t describe how excited I felt over this change in our relationship in early January. Every unbelieving spouse, hopes –dreams- about this day. We think, finally, he will hear the truth spoken and because it is delivered by someone other than me, perhaps the Holy Spirit will finally breakthrough to him.

A desperation prayer is then quickly uttered. “O Lord, please, please, let this be the day he is baptized.”

Well, I am still waiting. And in recent weeks, a new phenomenon has emerged into our intricate church attendance drama.

ME.

Recently when my husband chooses to attend church, I faced some unexpected and baffling scenarios. The night or morning before church, my husband would launch into complaints. “The music's too loud. It is a waste of time. Why do we stand through the long singing time? All the men that I observe in church just aren’t’ into it, so why do we sing? And, why is church so long anyway? An hour is enough.”

At first I would answer these questions. “Popular Christian music isn’t like the old hymns. Younger people like it louder and more energetic. So do I.”

“We stand because we honor God as we stand to our feet and from my perspective the singing (worship) isn’t long enough.”

“Many, many people including men really, honestly, like the music.”

And I just leave the whole length-of-the-service thing completely alone. If you love Jesus, you like to be there. If you don’t…….

In addition to these complaints, he would use body language to display his displeasure during the service once we arrive. And if I am brutally honest, I found myself in silent tears as I observed the hostility in him while I stood at his side in church on random Sundays. Because of these verbal and nonverbal complaints, the once-a week- worship and reconnection which I desperately needed was subtly stolen from me. It was just too much for me to ignore.

It seems last week I couldn’t take anymore. It was Father’s Day. He complained about getting up early. “I am not going to rush to get ready. We will get there when we get there” he said as he stepped into the shower.

My disappointment mounted. I LOVE TO WORSHIP. The music can absolutely revive my heart.

We walked into the church that morning and the music was loud but not piercing. He immediately mumbled some caustic remark to me. Girls and Men…. I just snapped. “You do not need to be here. I don’t want you to come to church just to make me happy. I no longer want you here if you don’t desire to be here so please leave right now and I will get a ride home.”

I stared straight into his face with an intensity that could have bored holes through his head. At the moment, I wish they would have. Not kidding!

_____

~This post has gone long but I have so much more of the story to tell. It's already written and I will meet you again here on Friday, July 3rd for the conclusion as well as a question for you. Please come back. Also, today give me your thoughts and share your experiences about church or no-church. Be Blessed, Lynn

Let's Talk

Communication is a vital part of any relationship. And I'll be honest. Right now I'm not communicating very well with my hubby. Thanks to some wonderful prayer warriors, I can sense it's getting better, but I'm still not quite on track, or where I'd like to be. Because, let's face it, in a SUM, it's like we're constantly on stage, don't you think? I know I do. We want to our unbelieving spouses to witness what God's done or doing in our lives, but that's not always easy.

So, let's hang out and talk a little bit here about the challenges of communication and how we can find ways to improve our talking, and listening skills.

One area I think makes a big difference in communication is staying connected. This can be a real challenge in any kind of marriage. We grow older, our interests change, and before you know it, you're more like two people living separate lives who occasionally intersect than a married couple.

I know I've tried playing an online game with my hubby, and even went disc golfing with him once. But I'm finding myself more challenged to find things we can connect with and through, since our beliefs are so different.

So, what have you found works in helping stay connected to your spouse? Let's get a convo going here, people! Let's talk!

Looking forward to reading your comments!
Dineen

Faithful God by Rosheeda Lee

This has been one of those seasons in my life where I just don’t get it. ‘Rosheeda quit.’

Not knowing how I was supposed to live, I quit.

My man… ‘Walk Away.’ In love and absolutely miserable without him, I walked away.

‘Rosheeda, go back.’

‘Lord, seriously. Four months ago You told me to leave. ‘

‘Rosheeda, go back. He is My Will.’

‘But Lord…’

‘Trust Me. Because of his love for you, he will learn to love Me.’

Unsure and all, I made that phone call the very next day… Three years later, he is still my man, we are more in love than ever before and marriage is just around the corner. God has done what He promised and more. I look at my man and I see God’s love for me. I look into his eyes and I sense a growing love for my Jesus. He’s no longer content w/salvation. He’s growing and learning to pursue sanctification…

Looking for a job

‘Lord I need a job.’

‘I am He who supplies all your needs.’

‘Wait on Me.’

‘In My time I will provide the job I have for you. Wait.’

… and so. For months I waited. And in the process lost all that I owned. My car. My apartment. And all my belongings. I don’t even have pictures. All I have is what I took back with me to my parents’ home. Literally.

‘Rosheeda go look at houses.’

‘And buy one with what, exactly? Since I have no job.’

‘Do as I say.’

... and off to look at houses, I go. I see one that I like. The man there is the owner and they are working. On the 4th of July 2007. We make plans to talk and to get together to finalize this house. I cannot buy it, but he will lease it to me and let me purchase at the end of the lease. I go to his office to finalize this transaction and HE OFFERS ME A JOB – ON THE SPOT. The house … didn’t pan out. The job… I’ve been here almost two years…

He has been faithful to provide, when I didn’t have anything to eat or any way to go buy groceries.

He has been faithful to protect me when emotionally I was ready to just give up on life.

He has been faithful to comfort me when people have disappointed me.

He has been faithful to be my shelter, my refuge, my strong tower in the time of trouble.

And the list goes on.

I cannot say that God has been a genie in a bottle for me. I cannot tell you that He has done all I thought He would do, just like I thought He should do it. But what I CAN say is that He has done exactly what He said He would do.

I wish I could tell you that God has given me all I lost back and then some, but that hasn’t happened just yet… In some ways, I’m still waiting; but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has been faithful to me.

It is not in the prosperous place that you learn what that means, but in the dark places. Because it is only in those places that you recognize your absolute frailty and need of Him. You realize that but by His Hand, you’d be utterly lost.

And the real beauty is that I’ve gotten to know Him better through all the hard places. He and I, we have a special relationship and I know that I can trust Him like I trust my best friend- except more. He is who He says. All the promises of His heart, all the promises of His word, He will honor. He wants nothing more than to show off for you. He delights in us. It is His pleasure to be known intimately and to love (and be loved) extravagantly.

His faithfulness is a promise to us. He’s faithful whether we are or not. Not because He HAS to be, but because He WANTS to be. Just because He loves you. If you will get to know His love, you will also know His faithful heart. Pursue it. Chase it down. I promise, when you discover how beautiful it is, you will never be the same.

Guest writer, Rosheeda Lee, is 31 years old and reside in Duncanville, Texas. She is employed at a real-estate development company as an Office Manager. In addition, she serves on the Board of Directors for a fledgling non-profit. Rosheeda attends Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, a non-denominational church in Dallas, Texas. Currently she is not yet married, but will be soon to the man she knows God has created specifically for her and she will be mother to two exceptional young men.

Rosheeda is also active as part of leadership for our youth choir. She says “The Lord has really begun to cultivate in me a heart and a passion for women and relationships. It is my desire to eventually write and share with other women the beauty of the hearts God has given specifically to us.”

You can find Rosheeda at her personal blog, Beauty for Ashes. Her life verse: 1 Peter 1:8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.

Thank you, Rosheeda, for sharing your heart here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. God bless, Lynn

Our Journey's - Part II

This is Part Two of “Our Journeys” posts. To read the original post, click here.

This week's question is from Julianne: I would love to hear about the growth/changes in your family each of you have seen since your time of starting here. Even though it may not yet be where you hope, what differences have you experienced over time?

Lynn’s Answer:

Julianne, It is difficult to sum up in a few short paragraphs the changes which have occurred over the years. Even in the past three years since the start of SUM, the Lord has done amazing things. I give Jesus Christ all honor and credit because without His life-changing power at work in me, my man, and our marriage, we would not be living the abundant life today.

Jesus is my hope.

I think what I value the most from the changes brought by Christ is the fact that I have grown in my faith. ome of you know that my husband lost his job in January. He is still unemployed today. But, I know my faith has matured because of how I handled the news of my husband’s unemployment.

I didn’t freak!

It is my nature to be crazy and freak-out over financial matters. The former banker in me, I guess. Upon hearing the news, I only felt calmness. In fact, scripture verses rushed into my head and gave me peace. The years of writing God’s word upon my heart came to fruition.

Still today after five, almost six months, I am peaceful and I absolutely trust God - He is our provider. I can say this with true authenticity, I could live in a two room shack today and be happy. If you knew me ten years ago, you would never have thought those words could escape my lips.

The Lord has brought peace to our home. He relentlessly pursues my husband’s heart and soul. Why should I fear? My prayers for his salvation will be answered. I never doubt that because Jesus is my hope.

My husband has changed in that he is no longer hostile about my faith and is on his own slow journey to understanding. A miracle in my eyes.

I look at that guy today from across the room and I can’t wait to grow old with him. I smile and walk over to the couch, snuggle down on his chest, hold his hand and I rejoice in the knowledge that I serve an all-powerful, almighty, miracle delivering God.

I am deeply humbled and will worship Him for all eternity. Be Blessed, Lynn

Marriage Monday Springtime Marriage

This Marriage Monday we are returning to Christine at Fruit In Season. Christine founded Marriage Monday years ago. I adore her and am thrilled she will be hosting for the next four months. Her topic, Seasons In Marriage, is wonderful. I often write about the season in which I find my marriage, but I feel the Lord calling me to write about springtime marriage. After all, its spring and many June weddings are around the corner.

The Noticer and a really great question.

I WON!

Yes, I won a book, The Noticer, by Andy Andrews.

It arrived in the mail Friday. (Thank you Ashlie of Mommycosm) I can’t put it down. Currently I am reading a chapter where the Noticer is speaking to high school age kids about why so many marriages end in divorce. I find the dialog and the principal truthful.

The beginning of a marriage actually starts early, dating. The Noticer likens clues for compatibility to a leaf. Yep, a leaf. Every person drops clues – a leaf about themselves. You can lean a lot about a tree from its leaf. i.e. age, height, fruit bearing….

The Noticer goes on to explain to the kids that after the physical attraction wanes you must have something to share, commonality. Ask this question. How does he/she fit in with my friends and then family? This assumes you have chosen wise friends and there is a genuine trust between you. How does your fiance relate? Do they enjoy being part of the group?

If your fiance is consistently trying to separate you from your friends, that leaf needs much discernment and prayer.

I found The Noticer makes many wise observations. A happy Springtime Marriage begins when you are companionable.

Be Blessed, Lynn

Tomorrow, Dineen and I are responding to our Open Forum Questions. The question tomorrow: Would you also give some thoughts or advice to someone who is/has been in a deep relationship with someone who is not really a believer, though not yet married to this person.

I believe this question is excellent, heartfelt and honest.

I receive emails such as this from time-to-time. I have permission to share with you one of my recent replies. This question is absolutely relevant to springtime marriage and dating. Have a fantastic Monday. See you tomorrow.

The Noticer: Sometimes, All a Person Needs Is a Little Perspective By Andy Andrews