Television and our Kids

So I’m bugged.

And I’m going to have to chat about it.

I’m opening up a bucket of worms in controversy. But if we as believers don’t talk about some of this stuff how are we going to help one another?

So I’m bugged about television.

On several levels.

I may not have all of my facts in order but I do have my heart in order on this subject so here we go.

Skins.

MTV’s new racy show "Skins" is everywhere. Not only did its premiere episode attract more than 3 million viewers, it's been written about in hundreds of newspapers, magazines and blogs. That's because advertisers are dropping like flies; Shick, Wrigley, and today, Subway, all pulled the plug. That makes seven so far. The sexually charged show features high school students who routinely have sex, drink alcohol and do drugs.

The show is rated TV-MA and includes the appropriate disclaimer in the beginning of each show. That rating means that it may not be suitable for teens under 17. But still, kids as young as 12 years old are watching the show. And many of the actors are under the age of 18. ~From PIX 11 online. 1/24/11

In my research about this show I discovered a quote from one of the cast:

Sofia, 18, defends the show, saying, "It's what teens are doing. It's the way teenagers believe, I think, especially you know in certain situations when you come from home lives where your parents don't really support you or really listen to you. That's what most of these kids are going through."

Okay, so now I’m really bugged.

I have a teen daughter, 15 ½ years old. I asked her today about this show.

“Caitie, have you heard of the TV show, Skins?”

“Ya”

“Do you know what it’s about?”

“Ya, it’s kids smoking, drinking, having sex and doing drugs.”

“Yes, that’s what I heard it was about too.”

I want to set the tone of this conversation with you. I’m not approaching my daughter with a tone of accusation, but one of I’m really curious about what teens are thinking and what is really happening out there. And she knows I write about some of this stuff. So, I went on with my questions.

“Cait, have you watched it?”

“No, mom.”

“Do you want to? Do you want to see what it’s all about?”

“No.”

“Why”

“It’s inappropriate.” Her real answer.

You see she could watch this if she really wanted to. I wouldn’t know. Any teenager is going to watch what they really want to through the internet, a friend’s house, etc.

Our conversation continued, “Do you agree with one of the stars who said that it’s what teenagers are doing. Are your friends doing this stuff?” Now remember my daughter attends a large public high school in Southern California. (Ya, she’s already exposed to stuff in high school I wouldn’t have dreamed could be possible even 10 years ago.)

But my daughter responds, “No Mom, my friends and most of the kids as a whole aren’t doing this stuff. But there are always a group of kids who have a crappy home life that are into it.”

So why am I sharing this long and weird conversation with you? Because most of us here in this community are parents. AND we are parents who are raising kids in a spiritually mismatched home. And we are parents who have kids that watch television.

But we can take a moment of hope here.

I'v realized today that now as my daughter is age 15 ½, all those years of pouring myself and my faith into her are showing their fruit.

It hit me, she is choosing for herself to reject Skins as a program she doesn’t want to watch even though it’s all the talk at the High School.

Parenting in a home where two different world views exist is challenging, especially when it comes to television choice. Our spouse may not be watching Skins but they might be viewing something else that is bordering on inappropriate wickedness.

Okay, so my thoughts on television are just getting going but this post is already too long. So we are going to take this conversation out for a long walk until we have all found some truths to add to our parenting arsenal and some suggestions on how to handle conflict with our spouse when it comes to media choices including, television, movies, books, etc.

This seems to be a very real irritant in our skins and an ongoing conflict in our marriages that spills over to our children and parenting. (Do you agree?)

So today, I’m greatly interested in your parenting efforts as it relates to television. Is it really THAT big of a deal what they watch? What is age appropriate? What do you do if Dad/Mom says it’s okay and you know it’s not? Tell me how you are leading your children in their viewing choices.

I hope I’m not as bugged tomorrow about television but I bet I will be. I have much more to share as we walk this road. Looking forward to some “real and honest” conversations here so we can help each other with this very issue. Be blessed, Lynn

I’ll be checking in and adding to the conversation in the comments.

The Me Project by Kathi Lipp

One of the ministries we partner with is Kathi Lipp and her wonderful books. If you haven't ready one of Kathi Lipp's books, drop everything and run out now and get one! Her first book, The Husband Project, has become one of my favorites. Kathi carried on her project theme with her next book, The Marriage Project. And now she brings her wit, wisdom, and immense creativity to The Me Project: 21 Days to Living the Life You've Always Wanted. Packed with practical encouragement this book is a journey of discovery and life changing steps to walk into the life and purpose God intends for each of us. I can't recommend Kathi Lipp's books enough. She is an amazing writer, an amazing speaker, and one of the most "real" people I've had the privilege to meet. So, now I get to have a little fun here. Check out the rest of this post for details about Kathi and her book.

Also, leave a comment. One name will be picked to be entered into Kathi's contest for a Deluxe Starbuck's Gift Basket valued at $62!

Added Bonus! Click here to read Kathi's article "Three Super Simple Kickstarts to Living Your Dream."

Has that rush to make (and break) New Year’s resolutions already waned? According to Daniel Pink, author of ¨Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, taking small steps every day will not only help you stay committed to your goal, ¨but will also help you ultimately achieve that goal when obstacles come up. Author Kathi Lipp wants you and your friends to live out those dreams—and have some fun along the way. As women, we forget the goals and dreams of our younger years. The busyness of everyday life gets ¨in the way. To-do lists replace goals. The Me Project provides women with fun and creative ways to bring back the sense of purpose and vitality that comes with living out the plans and dreams God has planted in our hearts. Kathi Lipp’s warm tone and laugh-out-loud humor motivates women to take daily steps toward intentional goals. The end result? We get back our lives and enjoy living in the confidence of a purposeful life in spite of our chaotic schedules. This handy guide coaches women to do one simple thing toward achieving our goals each day for three weeks. A woman experiencing the exhilaration of a rediscovered life offers more as a wife, mother, friend, volunteer, career woman. Finding the balance between living day-to-day with purpose while pursuing the passions God has placed in our hearts is a delicate pursuit. In this refreshing, insightful book, ¨Kathi lays out a doable plan that makes sense and helps make our God-given dreams ¨a reality. Never stop dreaming, because women who dare to dream do make the world ¨a better place." —Jean Blackmer     author of MomSense: A Common Sense Guide to Confident Mothering     Publishing Manager, MOPS International www.MOPS.org Author Bio

Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking each year to thousands of women throughout the United States. She is the author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project, serves as food writer for Nickelodeon, and has had articles published in several magazines, including Today’s Christian Woman and Discipleship Journal. Kathi and her husband, Roger, live in California and are the parents of four teenagers and young adults. For more information visit her website: www.kathilipp.com

One Little Step and Then......

I listen as she wept softly.

I spoke to this young wife on the phone recently. She found herself in a place she never imagined could happen to her. Like so many of us, her husband lost his business because of the economy and they are in a financial meltdown. They moved to a new state to find work and now she finds herself facing some of the most difficult choices she’s ever going to make.

Her pain stems from the fact that her future is not what she wants and the difficult choices in front of her are a direct result of the consequences from her husband’s past financial decisions.

Ouch.

Compound this financial crisis with the fact that this woman and her husband are spiritually disconnected, it is a formula for disaster.

But all this aside, what was truly roiling around in this young wife’s heart was anger. She’s just plain mad.

What do we do with our anger?

I will tell you that for years and years, I carried around red-hot anger that rested just below the surface ready to spring on anyone who might push me a little. I was mad about everything in my marriage and my anger was justified. Unmet needs, disappointment with many of my husband’s decisions, fury over his intentional harsh and cruel words birthed resentment in my heart and anger became my constant companion.

But do you know what happens slowly and subtlety when anger takes up residence in your heart? It will surely be joined by its insidious cousin, bitterness. And that evil and vile creature is a dangerous threat to our very soul.

For me there came a day where Jesus said, “Enough. What have I commanded you?”

Matthew 18: 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

"O, Lord, I want to obey ut how do I make myself get over my anger? It’s not as if I can just flip a switch and turn it off."

But God is faithful and He slowly revealed what I had to do. I began to pray this sentence, “Lord, help me to WANT to forgive.”

Spiritually Unequal Marriage is all about equipping you with the truths from God’s word to thrive in your mismatched marriage. Stepping out onto the very difficult path of forgiveness is one path that’s “required traveling” to find your way to the Promised Land. I’m sharing my personal experience with you on how I stepped on to that path, because I know so many others need to find healing.

Forgiveness brings healing… to you…..  to your spouse….

As I listened to the weeping on the other end of the line, I wanted to cradle this young woman in my embrace and rock her as if she were my daughter. Her pain and confusion poured from her. I hurt for her with my whole heart.

I’m not certain she heard what she wanted to hear from me but she did hear what would really help her. Fast and pray, ask the Lord to show you His will for your immediate future. He truly loves to answer those kinds of honest and humble prayers.

I also told her it is unlikely God will answer her in the way she expects. I explained that in the many, many years walking with the Lord, He often is intentional about doing the unexpected, just to prove to us that when it works out, it was Him standing right next to us all along.

Walking with Jesus can be a difficult call to duty. But walking with Jesus is a sure road to freedom, hope, joy, love, peace and ultimately a life that is transformed before the eyes of a broken and lost world. Oh, let Jesus move, let him show you authentic living through forgiveness and humility. Pray and seek His will. It will always be good for your life, your marriage and your family.

That first step on to the path of forgiveness is the beginning of the most fantastic journey you will EVER have. I promise you this: you won’t be disappointed.

Be blessed, Lynn

I share so much more about the amazing journey through the Land of Forgiveness in chapter eight of our book. I pray that the words that God gave me to share here and in that chapter are used to bring healing to many, many marriages. Hugs, Lynn

If you haven't visited our new website and registered for the marriage basket, hop over there today. Winninghimwithoutwords.com

 

Thankful Thursday - It Takes a Giant Family

Thankful Thursday is at Laurie's of Women Taking A Stand and then over to Grace Alone for March and back here in April.

Hello... IT'S THANKFUL THURSDAY.

If you are new here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage, let me introduce you to one of my favorite days of the week here at our home.

A day we are intentional about recognizing our blessings and naming them to give praise to our Lord. It's a fun opportunity to participate if you are a blogger, on FB, or in the comments here, to add your praises and link up with an entire on-line community to give praise.

Today, I want to thank the Lord for the many, many people who support SUM behind the scenes. There truly are a significant number of people who contribute to make this place a home. They volunteer to help because of their love for their Savior and because they love and care for all of us in this community.

• Prayer Warriors. We have friends who pray for Dineen and I, our marriage and our ministry. Without these vital intercessors, we would be a weak force for the Kingdom.
• Technical people who help with our many web responsibilities, here and at 1 Peter 3 Living.
• Our publishing team who invested and still invests hours, hearts and finances to help reach others who have not found us on the internet.
• Mentors, friends who share knowledge, people who connect us to others, so, so many who encourage us and help direct our path.
• And all of you, our friends, who come here to share a part of your day with us. You are the reason we are here.
• And there is one person who financially gives generously to provide the resources to make our home here a place that is free to anyone who needs love and encouragement. Thank you Sue. 

Today, I'm so thankful for how God brings so many together in His Kingdom. Our on-line home here with you is a taste of our future in heaven. It thrills my heart to know each of you, to pray for your marriage, to rejoice in the victory the Lord has for all of us.

If you blog or FB, join us at Laurie's today. If you don't blog, add your thankfulness to the comments below. Writing out your thanks to Jesus has a profound effect on your heart and it brings honor to our Savior. Be blessed, Lynn   

Be All You Can Be

I’ve been harboring a lie and I didn’t know it.

Last Friday I sat during my quiet time, praising God for the amazing ways He’s using this ministry, and Lynn and I, to reach out and help others in spiritually mismatched marriages. I will tell you I was so overcome with gratitude that God was using me to help others, that He chose me to be a part of this ministry, that tears sprung to my eyes.

Then, as only God can, He gently showed me a lie I’d bought into. In the past I’ve had times where I wondered if my husband’s unbelief kept me from stepping into completely serving God. What I mean by that is, would God have to keep me simmering on the stove until my husband accepted Christ and then He could let me “boil” full steam for Jesus!

Forgive the poor analogy but I hope that makes sense. I’ve pushed that thought aside many a time, refusing to believe it, but what I didn’t realize is that I’d totally bought into it.

This revelation hit me full force Friday morning, as if God were saying, “Look, you thought his unbelief would keep you from doing what you wanted for me. Take a look around you, Dineen? Did it hold back this ministry and book and how I’m using you in the midst of it all?”

Needless to say, my tears turned into a full bawl. (It’s been a very emotional few days!) The lie was exposed. God hadn’t held me back at all. My husband’s unbelief hadn’t held me back either. No, I’d allowed this lie to take root in my thoughts and allowed it to make me think I was being held back from serving God as I desired. And I’m sure I’ve even hid behind my husband’s unbelief at times out of the fear that stepping out would make our faith disconnect worse or make waves in our marriage.

Yet here I sit (and write) with the full evidence in front of me that it’s not true. The enemy succeeded for a while, but not anymore.

I want to pass this revelation onto you. Whatever it is that God is calling you to do, go do it. If God is the one leading you in a direction you fear may create waves, step back a moment and look at this way, and with much prayer.

God knows your spouse, knows what will and won’t stir the waters of your marriage. He’s in control of it all. And if God is calling you in a certain direction, He’s not only going to equip you for it, He’s also going to work in your unbelieving spouse as well.

I will give you an example. Our book is finally here, real and in our hands. You know what our message is. And you know that Lynn and I have been very careful to spend time in prayer to make sure we’re clearly serving God and following His will and purpose for us in this ministry. In other words, we’ve been very careful not to step outside of God’s plan or get ahead of him.

Enter my husband—the atheist—who is as excited as us about our book. He’s checking our Amazon ranking and sending me little updates as to how the book is doing. He’s so pumped!

Friends, if that’s not God working in his heart to accept what is the truth, I don’t know what is. I don’t claim to understand it, but I know without a doubt this wouldn’t be possible without God.

So, don’t be afraid to step out and live your faith as God is calling you to. Don’t wait for your spouse to come to faith in order to walk into the purpose God has for you now. If anything, your life of faith will become an even more powerful testimony of God’s power and saving grace to your unbelieving spouse.

When we stay close to Jesus, and are willing to lose our lives for Him, amazing and wonderful things happen in our lives and in our marriages. We can move forward with the assurance and trust that God has all the details in his control. He will bring you to a place of service that will work for you and your marriage. It may not be what you expected, but I’m betting it will exceed what you thought possible.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Do you ever feel like a nine year old at an amusement park? You want to ride with the big kids on the “Big” rides with the adults but you just don’t measure up. Not tall enough.

I think everyone of us struggles with …. Not enough.

Join Lynn today at Laced with Grace for: Why Does It Feel Like I'm Never Enough.

 

At The Internet Cafe Devotions Today

Today at the Internet Cafe Devotions, The Marriage Channel they are giving away a copy of Winning Him Without Words.

Stop over today for some snippets from the book and enter for the giveaway. Hugs, Lynn

 

A Very Different Post

Today’s post is different.

What is living on earth really all about? Can you say that you honestly understand why you are here and what your role in life is? Do you know that there is only ONE thing that is of concern to the human race?

Only one singular thing must be our focus?

I’m about to share an excerpt from the book, A Divine Revelation of Hell. This is a controversial book in that it’s one woman’s telling of her visit to hell. I agree that there is no way to “prove” that her experience was authentic, however, I believe hell is all she describes and even more terrible. I understand that this post will disturb many yet I’m compelled to provide a glimpse of what waits for those who are unsaved.

Page 31 &32 Jesus is walking with Mary Baxter (author)

    I could feel fear all around. Sorrow, cries of pain and an atmoshere of death were everywhere. Jesus and I walked in grief and pity to the next pit. (the pits of fire stretched out for miles, as far as the eye could see.)

    In the next pit was a woman on her knees, as if looking for something. Her skeletal form also was full of holes. Her bones were showing through, and her torn dress was on fire. Her head was bald, and there were only holes where her eyes and nose were suppose to be. A small fire was burning around her feet where she was kneeling, and she clawed the sides of the brimstone pit. The fire clung to her hands and dead flesh kept falling off as she dug.

    Tremendous sobs shook here. "O Lord, she cried, "I want out." As we watched, she finally got to the top of the pit with her feet. I thought she was going to get out when a large demon with great wings that seemed to be broken at the top and hung down his sides ran to her. His color was brownish-black, and he had hair all over his large form. His eyes were set far back into his head, and he was about the size of a large grizzly bear. The demon rushed up to the woman and pushed her very hard backward into the pit and fire. I watched in horror as she fell. I felt so sorry for her.

    Jesus knew my thoughts and said, "My child, judgment has been set. God has spoken. Even when she was a child, I called and called her to repent and to serve Me. When she was sixteen years old, I came to her and said, "I love you. Give your life to Me, and come follow Me, for I have called you for a special purpose." I called all her life, but she would not listen. She said, "Someday I will serve You. I have no time for you now. No time, no tme, I have my life of fun. No time, no time to serve You, Jesus. Tomorrow I will." Tomorrow never came, for she waited too long."

The story goes on the explain this woman's desire for beauty and money became a tool of satan and how even to the end she knew God was pursuing her. But, she always thought she would turn to Jesus some day. She was killed in an automoblile accident.

-----

For far too many years, life was all about me. My need for love, for significance, for validation constantly drove my behavior. My unquenchable need to feel beautiful in the eyes of others and to be important, esteemed in the minds of my work colleagues and my neighbors fueled my thoughts. These deep wants drove my decisions and manipulated my love and kindness for others.

Jesus said: Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

When you boil it down, ALL of our needs are met in Jesus. He is our provider, our strength, our love, our pride and our hope in every circumstance. He is our significance in this life.

The only thing that matters in life is Jesus.

Jesus wasn’t offering a suggestion in Luke 9:23. He is calling, pleading with us us to take up our cross. That means get our “self” out of the way. Be totally sold out for Him so that we can help others, our spouse, our children our neighbors, to be saved from an eternity in hell.

Today I convinced He is calling us to surrender self.

Self-exaltation
Self-will
Self-serving
Self-absorption
Self-sufficiency
Self-protection
Self-loathing
Self-promotion
Self-delusion
Self-righteousness
Self-worship
Self-pity

He is calling me. He is calling you so that our lives are a witness to others. We have the answers and we know the truth. And the truth is Jesus and He will set us free from hell and the truth will set our unsaved spouse free, an entire world free.

From an eternity in hell.

What are your thoughts about this post? Did you feel a stir in your soul? God is moving with power. Who in your life needs Jesus? Give their first name in the comments and a prayer for their salvation.

Be blessed, Lynn

The Intentional Marriage — A Look at 1Peter 3:1-5

In case you didn't get to watch our live broadcast, here's the recording of The Intentional Marriage show from yesterday. I will warn you that I got a little emotional, but in a good way! LOL! But I did. God is filling my heart with so much new stuff right now, I can't even put it all into words. He's revealing amazing things, one of which I will share with you on Tuesday. God showed me a lie I'd bought into about my marriage. One I think many of us fall into.

So, enjoy the show. Forgive my tears—just know they come from my love for Jesus, my love for you, and the message God put on my heart to share with you today. Watch to the end so you can find out about the surprise too!

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Be Intentional and SO Much More

Tune in for our LIVE streaming television show, The Intentional Marriage. 

This morning 11:30 ET/ 8:30 PT. Dineen has a great message for us.

Click here to see the screen.

Today, I'm feeling compelled to say TWO words to our community...

Just pray.

Why is it that so many of us turn to prayer as our last resort. We have run out of every option. Tried to fix our spouse. Tried everything under the sun to change our circumstances. So, finally, well, we think to ourselves, "I guess I should pray about it."

The power of God isn't a mystery. Discovering a life filled with happiness and fulfillment isn't a secret for only a select few. No, it's for all God's children. And I promise He really, really wants us to live in joy.

It starts with praying. Everything that God brought into my life that is good, pleasing and in the perfect will of God came because I prayed.  Romans 12:1-2

My prayers in the early years were selfish and shallow but God in His great grace has moved me to pray now not for my self-centered wants but to truly pray for my spouse. I want to share a prayer from our book, Winning Him Without Words. Today, I pray more like this and these kind of  prayers move heaven and earth. 

Oh, Father, today let me just love him. Pour Your love into me in such a powerful and complete way that I am just bursting with You. Teach me how to pour Your love out over my husband and everyone I meet. Make every encounter I have an opportunity for others to see You and not me.

Father, I beg You to place Yourself before my man today. Be in front of him at the office. Be at his side at lunchtime. Be behind him as he talks on the phone and writes a letter. Lord, place Christian men in his path, at the store today, on the phone and at the office. Let him see reminders that You are in relentless pursuit of him and that Your passion for him will never fade. Lord, I ask You to surround him with You. Fill his morning, noon and night with Your presence and protect him from the enemy.

Lord, I ask Your will in his life, not my will. I love You, Jesus. I love You. Your humble servant, Lynn.

What are you waiting for? Be Intentional and start praying and then watch what God will do. Hugs, Lynn

Thankful Thursday - No Weapon

Thankful Thursday is at Laurie's of Women Taking A Stand and then over to Grace Alone for March and back here in April.

After spending a week in bed with the worst cold ever, I'm starting to feel like a human again. The enemy tossed every obstacle possible at me two weeks prior to our book launch but I would have none of it.

I told the devil yesterday that in the name of Jesus, I would make it to Bible study today.

And I did.

I am behind schedule and set back but not defeated. 

I serve the Lord Almighty and the devil is hereby put on notice. No weapon formed against me will prosper. Is 54:17

So, my challenge to everyone on this Thankful Thursday is to speak these words of power into your life. Put the enemy on notice that your home and everyone in it belongs to Jesus. 

Can I get an amen?

I will praise the name of the Lord. Be blessed, Lynn

Tomorrow on The Intentional Marriage Show Dineen will be answering questions from our Facebook page and she has a really, really great story to share. Tune in on Friday at 11:30 ET 8:30 PT for our live streaming tv show. Check out our page here.

Also Dineen has a story to share at Laced With Grace today: The Promised Land

 

My long time friend Lori who I met through our amazingonline community, posted a review of Winning Him Without Words on her book review site, Lori's Book Reviews. Take a peek. Hugs. Lynn