Going Alone? Oh No Siree!

I sat down a few minutes ago to prepare this post. Before I started typing, I stopped to pray. I prayed for all of you who read the posts, Church or no-Church. I thanked the Lord, our Great King for each of you who took time to leave me your thoughts, your prayers, your concerns and your experiences.

Church or No-Church, Part I

Church of No-Church, Part II

I have read and re-read your comments just now. I have tears in my eyes. I have been writing here for three years and the advice and love and comfort all of you have given through your comments is some of the best I have EVER read. I encourage all of you to read the comments from last week. Such words of wisdom. You may very well leave your computer today….. CHANGED. PERMANANTLY – CHANGED!

I know that I am.

On Friday I wrote that I was seeking answers from the Lord and how He is always faithful to answer when I pursue His wisdom. Girls and men, He did not fail me. I have a powerful story and prayer to share.

Before I tell you what happened, I think it is important to point out some interesting observations from all of your comments.

First, not all of us agree. After reading through the comments and the private emails I received, it looks like the church or no-church decision is very personal and individualized.

Second, it appears most of us actually have grappled with this very choice and have spent considerable hours, years in prayer and in thought, determining what is appropriate for ourselves, our kids and especially our husbands. These decisions were not made lightly.

Third, many of you found your spouse attending after you released pressure on them. hmmmmm

Fourth, many spouses attend to make their wives happy and that works as well. hmmmmm

Fifth, the enemy is often at work in this situation. (Boy, is that the truth)

Okay, now I want to share a direct message that came to Lynn Donovan on the beach Thursday afternoon. The minute I heard these words, I knew Jesus was correcting my perspective and re-directing my path. The words spoken to me were what I needed to hear and penetrating. I am changed.

So, here goes…

I am fortunate enough to have a small group of friends from my church. We meet together once a week to review the pastor’s message and to pray for one another. Until this year, I was never comfortable as a “married-single” to be part of an intimate group like this. I always felt like a third wheel among all the couples. But, my friend, Pam, loved me so much and welcomed me after inviting me year after year to join the small community, that I felt ready. Thank you Pam!

Well, because most of the families in our group are on a budget, we look for inexpensive ways to enjoy the summer with our kids. The beach is perfect. Free rides on the waves, beach combing and you pack a lunch.

On Thursday, I arrived at the beach and joined a few of the other gals there. I sat down with Gina and Jolene and I shared with them my struggle with this church or no-church thing. They know me and my husband and listened with loving hearts and ears.

I explained my dilemma, “Jolene, it is just so hard to sit there (in church) when he is angry. I don’t want him there.”

Jolene, looked at me and she said. “So what.”

Hunh? No mercy here. Jolene isn’t one to beat around the bush.

She went on in a kind and loving voice. Her message was not to hurt but honestly to help. “Lynn, you know that my husband and I were unequally yoked for many years. He came to Christ a little over five years ago. But before he was saved I would literally be on my knees before the Lord, begging Him to place Himself anywhere and everywhere in front of my husband.”

Hunh?

“I would pray, “”Oh Father, place yourself in front of my man at every turn. Put a Christian man next to him on the airplane today. Father, let my husband catch a glimpse of you through a song, or something on television tonight. Lord, surround him with other business people who love You at his meeting today.””

“Lynn, I wanted my husband surrounded by the Lord. If you want the same, you will want him at church too. Let go of yourself here and if your man is willing to go to church then rejoice as you sit next to him, because the Lord is answering prayer.”

Gulp!

“Oh, Jolene, you are absolutely right.” I knew in my heart, for me, the right thing was to get over myself. And at that instant I did. How dare I let this be about me?

On Thursday as I sat under a cloudy sky at the beach, the Lord spoke. He didn’t speak audibly but through a wise and Jesus-loving friend, Jolene. I now pray much differently and with a new heart for my husband. I stopped asking the Lord to save my husband and to have him read the Bible and to open his spiritual eyes. These prayers are not wrong but I now I am moved to pray like this:

Oh Father, today let me just love him. Pour Your love into me is such a powerful and complete way that I am just bursting with You all over everyone and especially my husband. Father, I beg you to place Yourself before my man today. Be in front of him as he searches the employment boards for work today. Lord, place one or two men in his path at the store today or on the phone who know You. At the barbeque tonight, I ask that there would be one or two Christians who initiate a conversation with him. Lord, I ask you to surround him with You. Fill his morning, noon and night with some message that puts You smack in the front of his face. I ask Your will in his life and not my own.

Lord, YOU- sit on my throne.

 

You sit on my throne.

You sit on my throne.

I love you Jesus. I love you. Your humble servant, Lynn

Comments

[Denise]

God is so faithful. I love you sweet friend.

[Cindy]

God is so wonderful, and I know he has your best in mind. I know he is answering your prayers as we are encouraging each other. I can relate, my husband only went to church for me and I was ok with that. We did find a church through his friend and he was really starting to get involved and then he got hurt by the pastor and his wife. Now he wont even go to church. I do keep praying but it hurts so much that he wont even go.

[Tamara Hari]

Amen Lynn! wow am I glad to read this! This is not only about Mike - it is for ALL spouses "yet to be saved"!
Like I wrote before:
are you still willing to attend church alone? meaning.......spiritually.
I too am joined many times with Jack and still I am alone. But that doesnt bother me one bit. The most important thing is: he came and if not today than next time he shall be moved! smile - hugs and love Tamara

[Caroline]

Lynn, I am so happy to read you are having some breakthrough. God be praised! Praying and believing for you and your family.

[donetta]

My Dear Lady..
Your comment of last night set me to tears...not hurt you know. but so amazingly deeply touched like the life of me from my core was spoken to in a way tha I have never had nurtured like that before. You see that evening I had a talk with my husband about who I am and that I felt well ridiculed for it by him in front of the children and it really hurt me deeply. God is healing some very very deep wounds that touch my core. The pain of an eternity is being shaken out of me. The shaking is to loosen the bonds that imprison me into a lack of humor.
If I am humored it makes we cry and the thread that conects the two is the same somehow. When I read alowed the comment you wrote to my husband I could not speak without choking out the words you spoke to me. It was humblingly healing.
I know I had no one growing up or yet living that filled that void, the need to be acknowledged for the choices I have made.

He used you last night to do so.

I awoke under assault this morning, only in hopes to go to your words again and they were gone from my email.

It said something to me in the absence of it.
It said "you are under attack Donetta remember who you are"

[Melody]

Praise God!!!!

[Angela (Ang4him)]

Lynn,
Thank you so much for being so transparent and honest with all of us in these posts. I read this last one and could not stop the tears.

The advice of your friend Jolene is definitely of God and something I'm going to start taking to heart when praying for my husband. He does not attend church with me and he is not one who would do it even just to make me happy. But there are many things in our lives that he does do to make me happy which are "God things" as he calls them (I think he secretly likes some of them but just does not want to admit it) :)

My prayers for those situations and his entire day will be changed going forward.

[Gretchen]

How awesome that you felt His palpable presence and direction in Jolene's words. I'm thrilled for your refreshment. xxxooo

[Cory]

Lynn, Thank you for sharing. This is a new perspective on how to prya for my husband. Not just to pray for closeness to God but to pray for the opportunities that my husband will respond to. Take care and God bless, Cory

[Karen Lawrence]

Well done.
Yes, you have released him, and are now free to jut love him. After all, that is what Christ did for us.

Go girl.

[Denise Hughes]

Dear Lynn,
There is such a sweet sense of peace in this post. My heart is warmed just hearing how the Father met you this week. I have great respect for your friend at the beach. She spoke truth in a loving way. And bless you for having a tender heart to "hear" it. I love your "new" prayer. This is truly a wonderful perspective. Again, thank you for the courage you demonstrate in honestly sharing from a vulnerable place in your life. I am certain that your words are a source of encouragement to others.
Many Blessings To You,
Denise Hughes :)

[Debbie]

Oh Lynn, this is actually how I've prayed for my husband too. It's interesting because I think sometimes maybe my prayer about Christian men isn't being answered. And then later I'll find out that so and so is actually a Christian and Greg had lunch with him. He just didn't tell me! There are times when he will even say a quote from the Bible! It shocks me but delights me. I think he looks into things on his own. He knows that I study the Bible and probably wants to find out things without having to ask me. Whatever works though is fine with me.

[Stacey]

Lynn, Isn't it wonderful when we "get it". I have been praying for the Lord to do anything to bring my husband to him; but now that he has lost his job, is having issues with his health,and is depressed I've found myself starting to whine to God. I want to know why he is letting my husband suffer. Then God brought my prayer back to my mind. I had asked God to do whatever he needed to do and now here I am complaining because that is what he is doing. It came to my mind that he might need to bring my husband literally to his knees. So I will stand and support my husband, love him and pray because I know God knows my husband and God knows what he needs to turn to Christ.

[Iris]

What an incredible story and awesome prayer, Lynn. Thank you so much for be willing to share so openly on your blog about your situation. You are such a precious sister!!!!