The Question of the Ages

In Judges 6:13, Gideon asks God the question of the ages. "But sir," Gideon replied, "if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us?"

If we haven't asked it as some point in our lives, even as Christians, we've most definitely wondered about it. Why does God let bad things happen to his people? And if you've walked this journey of faith for any length of time, you've come to understand God uses all these times in our lives to refine us and those around us. But when the fire gets hot, we doubt, question, and even become angry.

If you read further, Gideon reminds God of his past rescues of the Israelites. Gideon wants to know what happened to that God of all the wonders passed down through the generations. We do that too, don't we? We look back at the past and see where God's hand was evident. Then when we don't see Him working immediately in our present circumstances, we fear God has abaondoned us, just as the Israelites and Gideon believed.

But even then, God doesn't defend himself. He simply tells Gideon to save Israel and says, "Am I not sending you now?" God doesn't go into a list of reasons, recounting all the ways the Israelites rejected Him by turning to false gods. He stays in the here and now, reminding Gideon He was right there—right now.

Gideon may not have gotten the answer he wanted to explain the past, but he got a more important response—God's reassurance that He was with Gideon in the midst of what was about to happen.

We may never understand completely why God allows certain difficulties in our lives, but we can go boldly forward in the reassurance that He is with us, always working for our benefit, even in our unequally yoked marriages.

No matter how you got there, God is right there with you. Maybe you just couldn't see him beyond the scope of your situation. But like Gideon, God is asking us to look beyond those circumstances and see Him standing there, where He's always been.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

What About the Kids?

My daughter AND my husband attended church with me yesterday. As the pastor stepped up to begin his message, he picked up a rope. He then asked one of the guys seated up front to take the other end of the rope and start walking out of the sanctuary.

This yellow rope began to stretch out across the entire room. The guy holding the rope left the room, started walking down the long hallway, and proceeded to walk to exit the front door. All the while the pastor hung on to the other end of the rope. The rope finally tightened. The pastor then pointed out a small piece of blue tape, no bigger than an inch, wrapped around the end of the rope he held in his hand.

This demonstration was an analogy of time and eternity. The long rope represented eternity. The piece of tape, our lifetime, 80 or 90 years for some.

Then pastor then asked, “Are you living for the dot or are you living for the line?”

At that moment my daughter nudged me, looked into my eyes, and whispered, “Mom, you are living for the line.”

“You are too Sweetie.” I smiled back at her.

This exchange further confirmed my thoughts of Spiritual Leadership which I posted about on Friday.

Most of us living in an unequally yoked marriage deeply desire our spouse to be a spiritual leader of our kids. However, our unbelieving spouse abdicates this part of parenting to us, the believer. Listen to me now. It is okay and right and good for you to accept the spiritual leadership for the family.

I think I struggled over this for a long time. I would hear messages from church and other sources telling me not to overstep my husband’s leadership in the home. It was confusing. What should I do? What shouldn't I do.

What I know for sure is this. If you are the only believer in the home, then God has commissioned you to lead your kids. In fact, He is desperate for you to train your children.

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Don’t wait for your husband to come to Christ. Don’t wait for your husband to be motivated. Don’t worry that you may usurp your husband’s authority in this area. When and if your husband is ready to handle prayer and teaching, he will tell you.

When it comes to training up our children, the best thing you can do is live our faith out in front of them. I have said this before but I share it again. Let your children find you reading your Bible. Let your children stumble into the kitchen one morning and see you kneeling in prayer.

Seize every opportunity given to you. When a teaching moment arrives, use it. Don’t let it slip away.

These teaching moments occur in the most unexpected ways with my daughter. I find myself imparting scripture in a way she understands and that applies to the issues in her life. Often we talk about self-esteem. That is a common issue for middle schoolers. I am ready to share scriptures and to reassure her about who she is in Jesus. I remind her that her identity is in Christ.

My daughter feels safe to ask me about faith matters and she really listens even if it appears she doesn’t. I often get the middle school “eye-roll’ or on occasion or she will say to me, “Mom, you’re on another rant.” Which means I’m preachin’ it and she has heard it before. But, I know the truth sinks in. I pray like crazy the opportunities I have to share truth will protect her from the Prodigal years in which I traveled.

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. — Deuteronomy 11:18–19

This scripture is all about seizing the day and taking every opportunity to share wisdom with our kids. Then we must cling to the passage in Proverbs … when they are OLD….. he/she will not turn from it.

As I smiled at my daughter in church yesterday, I realized she "gets it." She is living for the line. How cool is that?

Let your leadership be authentic, gentle, and founded in the love of Jesus and you can’t go wrong. In fact, it could be your son or your daughter who will ultimately influence your spouse toward Jesus.

Have a blessed week. Lynn

Weekend Devotion — Developing a Persistent Love

In keeping with our theme this week of "not giving up," Lynn and I thought this devotional by Rick Warren was great! We hope it blesses you as it did us.
Praying and believing,
Dineen

Developing a Persistent Love
by Rick Warren

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance" (1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT).

Love can be absolutely exhausting. Don't let anyone fool you. The kind of love that really makes a difference in this world will zap everything out of you.

Sometimes you just don't feel like you have any more love to give. Maybe you're in a people-intensive job—such as teacher, salesman, or waitress—and you come home and think, "I just can't face another need, another problem, or another heartache." So you just shut down.

Or you need to show love to a particular person who is demanding, selfish, and never returns your love. And you just think to yourself, "I'm done. No more."

While that's perfectly natural and perfectly human, it's not the high standard of love that God calls us to in the Bible. The Bible says, in 1 Corinthians 13:7, "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance" (NLT). Love never gives up.

How can you have that kind of persistent love for another person? You get refueled.

When my kids were young, I remember taking the family to a nearby air show. It was so impressive to see how they would hook up a tanker to a jet in flight to refuel. I'll never forget that. Can you imagine a jet saying, "I don't need to refuel"? That would be silly! The jet would crash and burn. In a long distance flight, a jet has to refuel.

So do you. To show the kind of persistent love that God wants you to show, you have to refuel your love tank. Look around at society, and you'll see it's littered with debris from relationships that have crashed and burned because they didn't refuel their love.

How do you refuel your love tank? You start by letting God love you. "We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19 NIV). When you're worn out, tired, and can't imagine showing love to anyone else, remember that God loved you so much he sent his Son to die for you.

Now that's real fuel. That's what keeps you going when you want to quit.

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America’s largest and best-known churches. In addition, Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church.

Spiritual Leadership and the Heebie Jeebies

Jesus said: Luke 6:41 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 42 How can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”

Why, do we constantly feel the need to change our spouse?

Okay, perhaps it’s only me, but I don’t think I am alone. Often in my conversations with believers I discover that we, women, want our husbands to be the… -spiritual leader of the household.

Shudder…

Those few words can give me the heebie jeebies. Spiritual expectations create a ton of unhappiness in our married relationship. Okay, I know I have probably offended you. Stay with me here. Let me state that it is correct thinking and Biblical to desire our man to be the spiritual leader of our family. I get it, really.

Where I see this go terribly wrong is what we as women “think” that leadership should look like. Do the words family devotions and leading prayer nightly and Bible discussions with the kids and, and, and… ring a bell? Yikes!

I know there are a few men out there that bring these qualities and activities to the home. They are actually rare from all my years in talking with Christian women. If you have a man like this, kneel down right now and give thanks to God.

For the rest of us. Relax.

Why do you wait for your husband to lead devotions? Where did this expectation come from?

I would submit to you that men practice their faith differently than women.

Allow your husband to be who he is.

I know this, if my husband became an on fire believer tomorrow, he would never be comfortable enough to lead family devotions, and it would probably take him years just to pray out loud. I am okay with it. It doesn’t mean he would not be the spiritual leader of our home.

What Jesus calls us to see is our man’s fruit. Not just the man-(woman)-made suggestions of practicing faith. Take a step back. What is the fruit? What is in his heart for what is in the heart come out of the mouth. Look at his character. God cares so much for our character and a little less about leading family devotions.

Jesus said: Luke 6: 43 “A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 44 A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. 45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.”

Perhaps this was a tough post. Perhaps you don’t agree. That’s is okay. I hope however, it causes you to think about the good fruit in your man today. Give him a break for the things he may not do and give him a hug for the fruit that is evident. Have a blessed Friday, Lynn

Thankful Thursday - Random

It's Thankful Thursday once again. Can you believe we have been meeting here for a month already? I have been richly blessed to recieve your thankful hearts here on Thursday. Remember during the month of April, we will all be meeting at Laurie's place, Women Taking a Stand.

This week I am thankful for a bunch of random stuff.

* Spring flowers

* I planted my vegtable garden this week

* God's Word. It is the only source or real joy in this life.

* Friendships

* My husband

* My kids

* My church

What are you thankful for this week? I hope to be over to visit you soon. Also, tickets have gone on sale for A Woman Inspired Conference. I hope you can meet me there on Wednesday, April 8th at 9:30 PST. Have a blessed week. Praising the Lord today, Lynn

What's Your Story?

For the last two days I've read the story of Zechariah and his prophecy at the end of Luke 1. As a writer of fiction too, I tend to put myself in these stories and imagine the scene, the character motivations, and what those around them must have thought. Well, my writer brain wound up stuck in this story for two days!

First of all, I got a chuckle out of the people signing at Zechariah to ask what he wanted his son named. The man was mute, not deaf. (Hee hee...) But how real to life is that? It's like someone speaking really loud to a person who doesn't understand English. Like the higher volume will help them suddenly understand the language.

But what really ran deep with me in this story was the time line. For thousands of years, the Jews lived with the Messianic prophecies as something that would happen in the future. They didn't know when. Then Zechariah comes along and puts a definite time frame on something so profound as the Messiah's coming.

I thought of those there for John's circumcision, listening to this priest speak of his son going before the Messiah to prepare the way. Not only did he speak great things about John, but he put a very real and tangible time to when their long awaited "horn of salvation" was coming.

Yet thirty years would pass before Jesus entered his ministry. Did those who witnessed the loosening of Zechariah's tongue and prophecy begin to doubt and wonder as the years passed? As John grew up, did his father's words fall to the wayside for some? Or were they confirmed with each passing day? (And if Elizabeth and Mary were cousins, why didn't Jesus and John meet sooner? The questions are unending!)

My point is, these people had to wait a long time to see if what Zechariah said would really come true. Did they wait expectantly? Or did they begin to doubt?

As I've said before, waiting is a big part of the unequally yoked marriage. As the years pass, it's easy to doubt, to let our prayers lag, and to lose hope. Yet even in this, God gives us examples of people waiting like in Zechariah's story and so many more. These are stories rich in faith and perseverance. Stories of people who didn't give up, even against insurmountable odds.

They are our predecessors and examples of some of the greatest callings recorded. And I can't think of a greater calling than praying without ceasing for the salvation of a loved one.

Even when the odds seem stacked against us, we know our God is a God of Hope and a Keeper of Promises. And with that we can make our own stories of perseverance and faith.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Chronicles of the Donovan Clan - Didn't See THIS Comin'.

When do we give up hope?

Most of you know my husband became unemployed like millions of others in January. Unemployment can really shake a man up. It’s a blow to the psyche.

My husband’s shake-up propelled him to attend church with me back then. He astonished me further when he joined me during Wednesday evening Life Group discussions. However, my man’s fervor to investigate Christianity has vanished. In fact, his church attendance has dwindled and he has completely quit Wednesday evenings.

As I type these words, I am puzzled. What happened? What didn’t happen? How could his interest fade this quickly? What did I do wrong? Didn’t do right?

Of late, I have pondered these difficult questions: Will he ever be saved? Am I a fool to hope? How should I pray? His salvation or for my endurance? -- Just keepin’ it real here.

I may become discouraged about the timeline which I perceive as taking way to long. I may fail to pray faithfully. I may fail to model Jesus in my marriage. I might break down and lose hope for a moment.

 But…..

I am not a quitter. God is not a quitter!

I read a commentary last week that states; the whole Old Testament is about failures who didn’t quit. God can use a failure, but a quitter is someone He can’t use. God can use a failure. ~Robby Dawkins

Let those words sink in. God doesn’t care that I am not a perfect wife. He knows I struggle with snacking in the evening. He knows I will cut someone off in traffic. He knows I won’t always model the fruits of the spirit. He knows I will fail… (sometimes - daily hourly)

Our faithful King, picks me up, dusts me off and says, “That was another great lesson you learned, Lynn.” My thoughts are not your thoughts. My timing is not your timing. I have called you to trust. I have called you to pray. I have called you to never quit. Trust me and remember I have your best interests at heart.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

We may fail sometimes, but we are not quitters. God never quits on us! God’s grace is sufficient! Be Blessed, Lynn

Marriage: Contract or Covenant?

Today is the last day of The Love Dare. If you've followed us over at 1Peter3Living, then congratulations for journeying through 40 days of dares. If you've read the book, or are reading it, on your own, congrats to you too for investing in your marriage.

As I think back over the last 40 days, three points in this book stand out for me. One, love is a choice. Lately God is showing me the strength in choice. I talked about this in last week's devotional.

The second is that you must lead your heart, not let it lead you. So true. We simply need look at the world to see what happens when the heart leads. In the secular world, we tend to think the heart only capable of good and therefore a good judge, but those of us revealed in the light of God know full well how the heart can also be deceitful and selfish.

The third is that marriage is a covenant, not a contract. This goes much deeper because a contract can be broken by mutual consent, where as a covenant is meant to be unbreakable. God is our greatest example of a covenant keeper. Look at his promises to Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and His ultimate covenant with us made through the blood of his Son.

We are called to these same standards in marriage, and God freely gives us his strength to do so. But it always seems to come back to making a choice.

What's your choice?

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Most Unusual Birthday Gift

I remember a chat I had with Rebecca Saville, Psychologist and contributor here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage, several moths ago. We were talking about men and women and about how we view change in our marriage relationship in very different ways. She said this:

A woman marries a man thinking she can change him.

A man marries a woman thinking she will never change.

-They’re both wrong.

Most of us learn the reality of this truth the hard way. I know I did.

I write frequently about change and releasing unrealistic expectations. Most of you know my personal story and how my marriage changed when I allowed Jesus to change me first.

However changing doesn't always have to be about us. It is not wrong to want our spouse to change in some areas, especially to have a heart-change and become a believer. There are opportunities where we can gently “coach” our mate.

I want to share a story with you about one of my good friends who created real change in her marriage.

 _____

He worked long and crazy hours, traveling in a large metropolitan area to different job sites. His day-planner included numerous appointments and some socializing which often took him over an hour’s travel away from home on busy California freeways. His job required him to work frequently after the dinner hour.

In his haste to meet with clients and get everything done in the day, he didn’t come through the door until after she was almost frantic with worry. As the hours between 5 p.m. and when he arrived home ticked away, she worried about an accident on the job site or possibly on the freeway. She rarely knew when to expect him home for dinner. He never thought to call her to release her from worry and give her a time when he might arrive home. She could rarely reach him by phone to still her fretting.

They argued about the situation frequently. Promises were made but were later broken and the cycle went on like this for a while.

They both loved each other deeply but this one area of contention between them began to grow bitterness. She was angry he never called to say when he would be home. He was angry she didn’t trust him and felt he didn’t need to check in like a child.

One day on her birthday as they sat over a wonderful candle light dinner, she gently yet firmly explained her hurt. Then she said to him, “I want a phone call for my birthday. The only thing, the best gift you could ever give me, is a phone call by five o’clock.”

He gave her this gift. The best and easiest gift he had ever given her.

Since that day he telephones every day at five and to her delight and further still, he also calls her during lunch just to check in and say, “Hi, I love you.”

______

Would you be willing to give up a new sweater or earrings? Could you ask for a similar gift like this for your birthday, Mother’s Day or Christmas?

As you consider what gift you might ask of your spouse, be very careful that your request is simple and doable. Make sure your gift request is not manipulative or motivated out of spite or sheer selfishness. Consider carefully, prayerfully how your spouse would consider your request and is it something that truly is worth this rare opportunity.

Be Blessed, Lynn

Thankful Thursday - We Are Free!

Isaiah 61

The Year of the LORD's Favor

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners

We serve a God of miracles.

In the past week, I have watched as God changed the lives of friends for eternity. I have witnessed marriages revived and on the road to healing. I have witnessed those held captive by lies - set free.

I am praising Jesus for He has come to bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives, and release the prisoners from darkness.

How has Jesus freed you?

I can’t wait to read your posts about your struggle and your freedom. Girls, someone will read your story and they too will be SET FREE! Be Blessed, Lynn