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March 16, 2009

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The best advice my momma gave me about marriage, was to Never go to bed angry. That of course, is also in the Bible. What I have learned from my marriage is we are a duo, not a solo act. We are to build each other up, not tear each other apart. We are to both keep our oars in the water, and keep moving our marriage along daily.

Marriage is like a royal dose of the medicine called reality. For many of us, it is the first time we realize our first name is not Princess and our husband is not always a knight in shining armor. As we wake-up to find out our fairy tales have vanished we can take on a new name. Conduit. It is not nearly so glamorous as Princess. You never hear about Conduit swept away by the Knight in Shining Armor. In fact, you never hear anything amazing about Conduit, but rather the Originator of that which is poured through Conduit. All glory goes to the Original Source for providing what was needed. For some of us, it is our first time to be humbled. To find out that being God's Conduit...His channel to pour through His love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace to another is our high purpose. However, Conduit has a free-will and can choose to squeeze down tight and barely let a trickle through or Conduit can open wide and let God's love abundantly pour through. Many of us prayed for the Lord to permit us to stand in the gap for our spouse, but did not realize a CONDUIT is what fills a gap most effectively. We can either surrender to becoming Conduit or we can fight to retain Princess and be humbled. I had to be humbled. My name is Conduit, pleased to meet you!

Hi Lynn, Loved the quote! You are so awesome and I know you will have the right words for the ladies. I think if there is one thing to share it would be to treat your hubby as your best friend, even if he isn't, and treat him as the "believer"he will be-cherishing and loving him right where he is.
Love you.
Noreen

The two best pieces of advice I've received on marriage are:

Never go to bed angry.
Don't argue in the bed(room).

These speak volumes to me in keeping the marriage bed sacred.

Praying for you in this conference!

OK, Lynn! Today the following quote was published in an article, "Feminism the Culprit for Family Breakup? A Controversial UK Study Says So" at Gender Blog. In light of the current global recession, it's challenging and timely.

"Compared with a century ago, two changes stand out: first, most women now work outside the home and have careers, as well as being mothers. Seventy percent of mothers of nine-to-12-month-old babies now do some paid work, this compares with only 25 percent 25 years ago-a massive change in the way of life. Meantime, the children are cared for by someone other than their parents. Women's economic independence contributes to this rise. It has made women much less dependent on their male partner, as has the advent of the welfare state. As a result of increased break-up, a third of 16-year-olds in Britain now live apart from their biological father."

You can read the complete post here: http://www.cbmw.org/Blog/Posts/Feminism-the-Culprit-for-Family-Breakup-A-Controversial-UK-Study-Says-So

I love Noreen's advice about treating him as the "believer" he will be.

One thing I've learned over the years is that "love is a choice". Feelings change from time to time. The initial excitement of falling in love can become less exciting. That's when the work comes in! Too many people spend so much time planning their wedding but not the marriage.

Another important lesson I learned in marriage is to look for things you admire or like in your husband and tell him. Men love to hear the words. Yes, there may be plenty of things you don't like but if that's all you tell him, be careful. Surely there are at least a few things you could honestly tell him that you appreciate about him. When I do this I can't believe how my husband responds.

I concur with Debbie. I do think it is very important that we find things we can admire about our hubbies to dwell on in our minds and to encourage/praise them. None of us are stupid, we all know when somebody feeds us an empty compliment. Instead, we need to find what we treasure and make it known. The more we dwell on what is lovely, fine, of good repute, etc about our husband, the more love they will detect in us toward them!

Love is not a feeling it is an act of your will.

Hope to see you at the conference. I will be seeing if the means are provided to do so.

I was given this advice but it can apply to your entire walk with God.
Starve the flesh, feed the Spirit.
Also being in a spiritually unequal marriage it has helped me to just love my husband like I would any lost person, it is just one of the things that has helped me to persevere.
My husband loves this quote:
"I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other's gaps."--Rocky
Another thing that helps me persevere in marriage, 1 Peter 3:1-2
Hope this helps.

oh and I have also learned love is a choice and an action.

'You can't both be in high gear. Somebody has to take the low.' - my grandmother gave this to my mom and my mom has given it to me (it is in the same vein: too many chiefs and not enough indians. somebody has to be an indian or you're gonna have a serious mess on your hands)

Hi Lynn....empty yourself of you and just let the Holy Spirit flow, even in your preparation. We already know that it will be amazing because of your service to our awesome Lord. I thank God that I found you and your site.
As far as marriage advice. WE can't change our husbands (or anyone else for that matter)but God can and will and is. I learned that big time! If we just bloom, how is it possible that our husbands cannot see Jesus' miracles, by just seeing Him in us. I also found that the more I surrender to my husband and be that submissive wife, the more he returns such amazing love. I soooo look forward to this conference. Thank you again. Cindi

The best advice I got about marriage is that, both couple should help each other in bringing out the best in everyone. It's good to be married :)

Sorry to take up so many comments, but my husband and i are in a marriage group on sunday evening. i was doing my homework and realized another reason for the purpose of my marriage. to bring me closer to God.

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