WITHOUT A WORD by Noreen

As a young engaged woman I worked at a Christian preschool and was surrounded by godly women whose lives modeled the role God intends us to walk as wives and mothers. I didn’t realize how much they influenced me until I began to write my wedding vows and although I wasn’t saved at the time my vows were scriptural. At the time I purposely and willingly left out the phrase to submit and obey for I knew I surely would be tested on this.

You see I was a child of the 60’s and 70’s, a vocal spokesman of Women’s Liberation. In the early years of marriage I was saved and began memorizing scripture; one of the very first verses I memorized was 1Peter3:1 “In the same way you wives, be submissive to your own husband so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives”.

In the margin next to this verse is the year 1988 that I first claimed this for my beloved. After memorizing this scripture along with many other verses pertaining to marriage, I stopped leaving index cards with verses on them around the house, I stopped preaching at him or leaving “subtle-not so subtle” hints around the house of what I wanted him to become. I made a conscious decision to let him see Christ in me instead of hearing what I wanted him to hear. I wanted and still want him to be won without a word.

I would be tested on this almost immediately and I can say it was the most difficult test I ever faced. At the time my beloved husband was dealing with a wife who had changed overnight and he wasn’t very pleased with the changes or what I was teaching our daughters.

One morning he announced to me that I was no longer able to take our girls to church. Stunned and hurt I quickly told him I would submit to this but he had to know I would never stop teaching them about Jesus and the bible. This was the hardest thing I had ever faced; I spent days in concentrated prayer over whether or not I should obey, I sought the advice of godly council and I grieved. How could this be happening? Everything within me shouted out in rebellion, to seek my own will in this situation because after all I had rights didn’t I?

During these days of seeking the Lord’s heart in this matter, in my marriage and in begging for His grace I knew something immediately- if I was to pursue doing what I wanted and disobey my husband, his heart would forever be hardened to the very One I so desperately wanted him to know. So after much prayer and many tears I willingly stepped away from attending church in order to honor my spouse. I also gave up being a discussion leader in a large women’s bible study, another part of laying down my life that took everything I had.

I would love to tell you that he immediately saw my submission and went to the cross but it didn’t happen like that. During those early years I did see softening and subtle changes in his heart; several times he even suggested that we go to special Christmas services at our local church.

It was many years later through a set of circumstances that he finally agreed to let me take the girls to church. It was such a privilege for all of us and we cherished it even more because of years going without it.

Here I am 30 years later, still learning to obey and submit to my unbelieving spouse and still waiting for that day when he will come to the cross. I do not believe this is the choice each unequally yoked spouse will face but I do know that we will be called to lay down our lives for Christ.

During those long years, the reality of being carried by Christ was almost tangible to me. His grace covered my two daughters and me. I know my beloved was sanctified and blessed by his believing wife.

My two daughters are godly women, married to godly men and are raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

I am so grateful the Lord has allowed me to walk this walk for so many years. What a glorious day it will be when one of the lost return to their Father. I look forward to that time but am content to wait upon the Lord. Someone once said “Prove Jesus to the world that His Word is true” and I love to reflect on this. Love your spouse as unto the Lord, today and every day for the rest of your life.

_____

Noreen writes at her blog, Life Blessings. Thank you Noreen and Carrie for sharing your heart and for honoring Jesus here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage and through your marriages. Be Blessed, Lynn

Thankful Thursday - Sweetly Broken

I stood before the mirror this morning applying my makeup. My IPod was playing softly in the background. The song changed as I lifted the mascara wand to my eye.

Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle

The words of this song washed over me like a river. I felt the love of Christ pour over my entire body. I felt shaky….. trembly. My knees almost buckled under the flood.

This Thankful Thursday – I am sweetly broken under the deluge of God’s love. I am only beginning to understand just how wide, how long, how high and how deep is the love of God.

Ephesians 3:17-21 And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Have a blessed Thursday. Lynn

Also, I would like to offer two free registrations in a drawing for A Woman Inspired Conference. Please check out the time and dates on the website (click here) then come back. If you can attend and would like your name put into the drawing, please add the words “enter me” along with your comments. I will draw a name in two weeks.

 

A Woman Inspired

Girls, sorry men - I know you're out there, but this post is just for us gals. The most fantastical and neat opportunity to be inspired by women who love Jesus is just around the corner.

A Woman Inspired, Christian Women's Conference...

This is an online conference. Perfect since so many of us are strained by the current economic crisis. You don't have to leave your home.

April 6th through the 10th, A Woman Inspired, Conference.

Speakers for this event include:

Lysa TerKeurst from Proverbs 31 Ministries
Darlene Schacht from Christian Women Online Magazine
Janice Croze from Five Minutes for Mom
Allison Worthington from Blissfully Domestic
Lisa McKay from The Preacher's Wife
Sheila Wray Gregoire from To Love, Honor and Vacuum
Tsh Oxenreider form Simple Mom.net
Shelly Ballestero from Beauty By God
Alllison Bottke from Boomer Babes Rock
Cindy Beal from Cindy Beall.com
Natalie Witcher from Stiletto Army
Mellisa Michaels from The Inspired Room
Ginger Moore from Speaking Thru Me Ministries
Amy Bayliss from In Pursuit of Proverbs 31
Lynn Donovan from Spiritually Unequal Marriage
Marybeth Whalen from Chaper fy the Half Dozen

Join me on April 9th at 11:30 CST for a live, online version of A Front Row Seat.

Session: A Front Row Seat: Have you every prayed over the yellow pages? In this session Lynn shares her real-life adventures of traveling with God through the tumultuous years of her early marriage to an unbeliever to the day she prayed over the yellow pages and God showed up. Whether you are married to a believer or unbeliever, be ready to see your uniquely yoked marriage with new eyes.

 

This is a story from the Chronicles of the Donovan Clan. This encounter is perhaps the most fantastic story yet of God and His presence in our lives. I have not shared this with you yet here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. It seems God choose this moment and this venue. This encounter is truly the most outlandish, humorous and incredible moment Chronicled out of the Donovan Clan. 

I hope you can attend. It promises to be one of the best conferences ever. Be Blessed, Lynn

PS. Next week I will be giving away a couple of free admissions to the conference. Hugs~

What are the Thoughest Things About Marrige?

This Winter my Bible study group is reading through the book of Esther with Beth Moore. Beth took a poll of her readers through her blog to prepare for her study. Her question, What are the three toughest things about being a woman.

During the video portion of the lesson this week, Beth said something which was of great interest to me. The overwhelming response to this question was the toughness of marriage. I guess I was surprised and yet not surprised. Successful marriage is hard work. Would you agree?

Today I would like to ask you for your help. I am preparing for a conference and would be so humbled if you would take just a minute to share with me your thoughts.

What are the three toughest things about marriage for you?

Please feel free to leave your comments with or without your name or email me privately. I am prompted by the Lord to take a fresh look at what we struggle with and how Jesus might lead us in the future here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

Thank you... Thank you... Thank you... Be Blessed, Lynn

Weekend Devotion — Another Biblical Nugget

When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. "I am innocent of this man's blood," he said. "It is your responsibility!"

 All the people answered, "Let his blood be on us and on our children!" — Matthew 27:24-25

The more I read the Bible the more I find deeper meanings and applications. I believe that's what keeps God's Word so alive and vibrant  after thousands of years. I can't think of any other books that have that kind of shelf life!

This one in Matthew struck me, because it represents a dichotomy. The crowd answered Pilate in what I can only imagine as being a heated and angry shout.

"Let his blood be on us and on our children!"

Yet how amazing that the very thing they shouted for was the very thing they needed—Christ's blood shed for them. They wanted Jesus to die, and they were willing to accept the consequences and responsibility. What they perceived as a potential burden was actually their ticket to freedom. What they demanded in anger and evil, God intended and used for good. For each of those individuals, for their children and for us.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Thoughts of a Daughter

If your husband does not want you to go to Church, then stay home and paint the house with him. Go fishing or shopping, whatever He wants to do, and make sure you are having fun. ~Debi Pearl from Created To Be His Help Meet

I first read that quote about six months ago. It’s funny how some things, whether through reading a book, listening to a story, hearing a friend speak… can trigger a flood of memories.

My Mom grew up in a Catholic home, aware of God but just learning how to do religion. She met my Dad, they fell in love and married, standing before a Church full of witnesses, she promised to love him and honor him all the days of her life. When they married my Mom had not chosen to make Him Lord of her life but He was at work. He desired to make her His own, continuing to peruse her, romancing her and calling her. It was when I was two that she finally believed, finally called out to Him, finally surrendered her life.

And from that day forward her life was radically changed.

The following couple of years found my Mom pouring herself into knowing Him. We started going to a Church and she began attending Bible Study Fellowship. She studied the Word, read Christian books and spent hours talking with Titus 2 women. The Word says, Seek Me and you will find Me and that was truly the cry of her heart. She just wanted more of Him.

I’m not sure when their marriage started getting harder, whether it was before she was saved or somewhere there in the midst but I guess it really doesn’t matter. The honeymoon days of their marriage were over and now my Dad now did not like the idea of us being involved with the whole Church thing.

I was five the day my Dad told my Mom he didn’t want her going to Church anymore.

While I was too young at the time to understand the enormity of this statement, I can now look back and imagine the shock that I’m sure went through every fiber of her being when she heard those words. Yet, she was faithful to following Him. The Word of God says, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:22

She desired to serve Him, to follow what His Word said and so she new what she had to do.

I can only imagine how hard those days and weeks were but she didn’t become bitter instead she decided to honor My Dad, to submit to his desires even though it was one of the hardest roads she would have to walk. In reality, no one would have questioned her if her walk with the Lord would have just ended. She could have also just chosen to ignore my Dad and continue on with Church following the idea that whatever happens, happens. She could have chosen to follow her desires, her wishes, after all wasn’t that what she was initialed to? She just needed to take care of her own spiritual life. Yet, she didn’t. She chose to follow His Word and to honor my Dad, to honor their marriage, to honor the Lord.

In some ways, I believe this was the fuel that made her walk stronger. She trudged on. She continued to teach my sister and I of the Lord, doing morning devotions with us after my Dad had gone to work, singing Bible songs on the way to school, praying together in the car… We did not go to Church but God was a part of our every minute. He was our life.

To say that all of the sudden the days became easy, would be a lie. But God was faithful. We have story after story of seeing God’s hand at work, seeing Him work through my Dad in amazing ways…

I was in sixth grade and the Lord began to move, stirring my Dad, opening doors and a prayer that we had been praying for the last six years was about to be answered…

Homeschooling had been a desire since I started kindergarten yet the answer had always been no, until I was in sixth grade. It was while we were preparing for school at home that my Dad finally gave us permission to go to Church again. Another prayer was being answered.

I can remember standing at my high school graduation in awe. I was in awe of all that God had done. We saw His fingerprints, His grace, His hand at work in so many different places over the last several years. Had God really brought us this far?

Yet, I wonder, what would have happened if my Mom would have stood her ground that day my Dad told her no more Church. What if she listened to her friends… Did what was right in her own eyes… Did what she deserved… and still gone to Church each week? I don’t think I need to wonder, I’m pretty sure I know what would have happened.

A different story would have been written.

And sadly, it would not have been a story marked with God’s own hand. My Mom has now been married for thirty-one years and my Dad still does not believe. It’s been a hard journey for her to walk and she’s the first one ready to council any young lady against marrying a non-believer.

But we stand on the promise that He makes all things beautiful in His time. And so we continue to pray and we continue to see His hand at work. He is moving… stirring. We see His grace… His faithfulness…

And I find myself thankful for this journey.

________________________________

I wrote this post and found myself pondering it for days. In some ways, I know there is a part of the story that sounds so romantic. It makes it sound like once you decide to follow God, once you obey His Word, life will just become an easy journey. But the truth is that you desperately need to cling to God. There will be hard days, hard seasons but then in the midst you will see a glimmer of hope. You will begin to see God’s hand at work. The Lord was our anchor, our life.

The most important thing she did was to continue to seek Him and love Him and through her time with Him, she had the strength to love my Dad.

My Mom has this little saying that she always quotes to the little ones in the family when they are wondering if they should be obedient -Trust and Obey, It’s God’s perfect way.

It’s the same thing for each of us, in any circumstance, Trust and Obey, it’s God’s perfect way. Do we really trust and obey Him? Those are just the thoughts of a daughter who has walked through the journey watching her mom… Carrie

Visit Carrie at her blog, Our Journey.

Next Friday we will meet Noreen, Carrie's Mom. Stop back for the beginning of this story. See you then, Be Blessed, Lynn

Thankful Thursday - Testimony of the Saints

Sometimes God leads us to people who have a life-story that truly inspires us to walk the walk and talk the talk. I am deeply thankful the Lord prompts men and women to share their stories to encourage us.

I have a special and amazing story to share with you tomorrow.

You won't want to miss this as it is written by an adult daughter who was raised in a spiritually mismatched home. This story will give hope to every single Christian parent who worries about their children's salvation.

Please stop in tomorrow for the beginning of a wonderful series by a daughter and her mother. You will experience just how much our God can do when one ordinary mother loves her kids with the extrodinary love of Jesus. See you then. Be Blessed, Lynn....

For more Thankful Thursdays visit Iris at Grace Alone.

Fortune Cookie Faith

Believe it or not, God definitely has a sense of humor. He knows how bad I am about second guessing myself. I believe he will use whatever he wants to get through my thick skull.

Even a fortune cookie.

In early 1999, my family moved to Europe. The weeks and months before were fraught with doubts. Did God really want us to make such a tremendous change? Had I misunderstood? A couple weeks before as we sat finishing a meal at a Chinese restaurant, I opened my fortune cookie and read "you will soon undertake a great trip." Or something like that. I laughed. Too cute.

Three and half years later, we sat in another Chinese restaurant in Zürich, anticipating our upcoming move back to the States. I opened my cookie and about choked. "You will soon cross great waters to go to a land of sunshine." California, here we come!

Again I laughed but wondered if perhaps God was using such a silly thing to reassure me I was right on track. I mean, why not? He definitely caught my attention.

Now I will be the first to admit fortune cookies are just fun, silly little things that most of the time make no sense whatsoever. But how often do we live our faith, depending on those little messages from God to bring us from one place to another?

Granted, I love these messages from God. They remind me of how much he really loves me, and that he's always there. There's nothing wrong with that. The danger here is when we become like monkeys swinging from vine to vine, dependent upon the next to get us where we need to be or go in God's will.

Look at these love messages as the extra benefits to keeping a daily discipline of feasting on God's Word, praying and spending time with him. Knowing God is the best way to be sure you're going the right direction.

Then these little messages, or fortunes if you will, remain what they were intended to be. Dessert.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Relentless, Unforgiving, Pursuit! The Aggressor, my 13 year old Daughter.

Good Morning Everyone, I am running a tad behind this stormy Monday morning, so I am posting late. But as I read my Bible this morning, I was deeply impressed with a message that seemed to be written in the Holy Book for just me.

As I thought about it, I bet some of you could use this message as well.

Let me set the stage:

I have been under siege.

Relentless, unforgiving, pursuit! The aggressor, my 13 year old daughter. Sheesh.

This kid must be a Type-A, plus some. Her teenaged-brain has locked on the smallest sentence I regrettably uttered months ago. I said, “It would be fun to have another pet.”

Doomed, doomed. I tell you.

Why oh, why did those words escape my lips?

Since that unfortunate slip of the tongue, I have heard about every kind of animal which could live inside a home and several that can’t. “Mom, please, please, please can we get another dog?” I remind her that we have a neurotic mutt already, Peanut. He is cute but doesn’t get along with other dogs so well. Another dog would be a disaster.

“Mom, how about a cat?

“No, our neighbor’s cat gets in our house enough as it is. Can’t you just enjoy her?”

Mom, a Gecko? Please, Mom, they’re not much work?

“No”

“A Guinea Pig”

“No”

“Hamster”

“Bird”

The list is long and weary. And monthly it repeats itself.

Take a look at this. It was taped to my computer screen this morning.

 

A Calico cat. It says, “Awwwwwwwww, Aren’t they so cute and you said Calicos are ugly.” I didn’t. Now get this last part. “PS. This isn’t me asking, I’m just saying they are cute because you said they weren’t.”

This isn’t asking….. wink, wink.

Okay, I have to hand it to my daughter, she is rather creative. And, I am feeling worn-down. Add to this the fact that my sweet darling husband is at home with me now 24/7, while job searching, and I am feeling the pressure of constant barrage on my time and psyche.

With this said, I read in the Word this morning: Mark 1:45 ….As a result, large crowds soon surrounded Jesus, and he couldn’t publicly enter a town anywhere. He had to stay out in the secluded places, but people from everywhere kept coming to him.

Jesus was besieged. He was surrounded and everyone wanted some piece of Him. Yet, he remained filled with compassion. He remained with the crowds with the exception to pray in the wilderness.

This morning was my time alone with Jesus in the wilderness. Okay, the couch in the family room. But I spent time alone and was filled. Today, I can smile at my sweet but unrelenting daughter and say, “No.” I will hug my man and encourage him to keep looking.

Jesus looked upon the crowds and felt deep compassion. I pray the Lord also puts this compassion for people in me. Compassion like Christ. That is what changes the world one person at a time.

I pray your week is filled with compassion and time alone with the Savior. Have a blessed day. Lynn

Weekend Devotion — Love is a choice.

I thought Rick Warren did an excellent job with this devotional and wanted to share it with you. Hope you're Valentines Day is filled with love! — Dineen

   

2008/11/25   

Love Is a Choice
by Rick Warren

… That you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Deuteronomy 30:20 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

Love is a choice and a commitment. You choose to love or you choose not to love.

Today we’ve bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us; it’s not something we control. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love is some kind of a ditch. It’s like I’m walking along one day and bam! – I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself.

But I have to tell you the truth – that’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen to you. Love is a choice and it represents a commitment.

There’s no doubt about it, attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a choice.

You must choose to love God; he won’t force you to love him (Deuteronomy 30:20). You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you choose to do that. God still won’t force you to love him. Because he knows love can’t be forced.

And this same principle is true about your relationships: you can choose to love others, but God won’t force you to love anyone.

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved.

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches. In addition, Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church, which was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th Century. He is also founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for ministers.