Risk an Affair?

by: Amy Forbes

 

I'm currently reading a book by Jerry B. Jenkins called "Hedges - loving your marriage enough to protect it". Having personally been in the position where I've had to step back from a friendship with a member of the opposite sex I found this book to be easy to read, intriguing and convicting with simple examples and ideas to help me to step back.

 

The first chapter discusses two couples. The husband (John) of the first marriage works with the wife (Sue) in the second marriage. All four are friends but when John and Sue are away on a business conference they make the step to take things a step further and end up committing adultery.

 

The author likens this to the bible story of David and Bathsheba (who was married to Uriah):

• While David's army was away at war he stayed in Jerusalem. One night when he couldn't' sleep he wandered around the terrace on his roof when he saw Bathsheba bathing through a window of her private residence. He saw her beauty and instead of turning around the seed of lust was planted in his heart.
• He took it a step further and sent his servants to find out more about her. They answered that she was married to Uriah.
• David took it another step further and requested her presence and they ended up sleeping together.
• But it didn't end there, David was so enamored with Bathsheba that he sent her husband Uriah to be placed on the front lines of the battle and it was there that he was killed.

The saying "it takes two to tango" is a universal cliché. What David saw that starry night on his roof was the beginning of sin not just against God but against Bathsheba and her husband. It took Nathan the prophet to point out to David what he'd done and it was only then that David recognized his sin and was willing to make amends.

 

Ask yourself; are you like David and Bathsheba or John and Sue? Are you in danger of taking a friendship with the opposite sex further than it should? Jerry Jenkins in this book gives some worthy biblical ideas of how to put hedges around your marriage and protect it. In my next post I'll share what he suggests and give an example how I recently had to apply them to my own marriage

Amy is a born again Christian and a former wicca (story for another day). She is married with three children and lives in a small town in New Zealand. She works part-time developing websites. Amy is a frequent guest writer at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. She is faithful to share how God has worked in her life, her husband's life and in their marriage. You can find Amy at her personal blog, Home With Amy and I Love Vintage Things.

Stories for my Grandchildren

I began reading my daily Bible in 1998. That was the beginning of my restoration and healing.

I have read through this Bible every year since. This morning, January 30th, I found myself in the story of Moses and Pharaoh. Exodus 10: 1-12. These words were underlined in the first verse.

The the Lord said to Moses, "Return to Pharaoh and again make your demands. I have made him and his officials stubborn so I can continue to display my power by performing miraculous signs among them."

Look at this photo. Can you see the writing? I scribbled a note above this verse as a prayer to the Lord. I often write in my Bible.

It says, "Lord do this for my husband." I wrote '00 for the year 2000.

Well, I am certain I wasn't praying, asking the Lord to make my husband stubborn. He already was there. I was asking for the display of His power and the miracles.

Today as I read that verse, the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "Are you ready?"

I am Lord. I am.

We serve a God who answers prayer. Oh, I am certain the Lord is moving. I will be able to tell wonderful stories to my children and grandchildren about the marvelous things the Lord is doing among the unbelievers. (Exodus 10:2 paraphrased by me).

We can trust and have genuine hope in God's word.The book of Exodus, written more than 5,000 years ago is relevant today, powerful today and life-changing, still today. Amazing!

What dangerous prayer are you praying. Oh, please let me pray along. I will pray for you this week. Be blessed, Lynn

The Call to Fight

In my journey through the Bible, God’s showing me a constant thread of struggle and perseverance. From Jacob to Joseph to Moses and the Israelites.

In Genesis 32, Jacob is faced with a potential disaster. His brother Esau is coming with 400 men, and Jacob fears the worst. He even prepares for the confrontation by dividing his people and possessions into two camps. In verses 9-12 he revisits God’s promise of prosperity.

Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, O LORD, who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two groups. Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’”

Jacob has struggled with God enough in the past to stop this time and remember God’s promise before reacting. He even reminds God of it. Back in Genesis 28 Jacob reached a turning point by claiming his faith as his own (see verses 20-22). And now, by revisiting God’s promise, Jacob’s faith is re-enforced.

Then there’s Joseph. I think this is my absolute favorite story in the Bible. I’ve imagined many a time the desolation Joseph must have felt to be hated by his brothers and sold into slavery. I’ve marveled at how God favored him and gave him success, even in prison. And then the anguish to see his brothers and not be recognized.

Joseph endured years of slavery and imprisonment to fulfill a purpose God set in place long ago. Amazingly, Joseph understands this and even tells his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20 NIV)

Here we see a glimpse of Romans 8:28 in action. Joseph’s story is truly one of perseverance and supernatural faith.

From Streams in the Desert: “Joseph had more sorrow than all the other sons of Jacob, and it led him out into a ministry of bread for all nations.” — The Heavenly Life

And now to Moses and the Israelites. In Exodus 5, the conditions for the Israelites have gone from livable to treacherous. And they blame Moses—the man who’s brought a message of freedom from God—for their worsening state. The phrase “darkest before the dawn” epitomizes the thickening of battle before the victory. When se stand up to evil and injustice, when we obey God in ways that offend the world (or our spouses), we will meet opposition.

We don’t like this persecution and our fist instinct is to back off. To cry for things to go back to bearable like the Israelites did. But to do so means losing the battle. And it is in the midst of this battle that faith is so critical. We must continue to believe we don’t fight alone.

In Exodus 14, the Egyptians are in hot pursuit of the Israelites, who despair they are to die in the desert. Moses reminds them who is in control with these profound words.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.”

This simple statement is so full of God’s love and pure intentions. Even despite the Israelites lack of faith, God is fighting for his people. He’s there in the thick of the fight and his promise still stands.

The Israelites were called to face a great challenge, as are we who are unequally yoked. But we need not fear. We need simply to obey God’s call, be still in Him, and let God fight the battle for our spouses. But we must do our part.

“God will give us the victory when we join Him in the fight.” —Upper Room Ministries, January 22

Join God in the fight. Pray without ceasing. Have faith. Trust. Believe.

And guess what?

God always wins.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

The Chronicles - What Will this Wacky Family do next?

I am sitting in my office at 3:07 p.m. on Sunday afternoon. Less than five hours ago I was headed down the home stretch to the finish line of the Carlsbad Half Marathon.

Tada!

I did it. I ran 13 miles along the ocean with 8 to 10 thousand of my closest friends. Runners are a strange lot. I still can't figure out why I think this is fun....

Okay, I can barely move and my knee is throbbing but I DID IT. What amazes me further, I ran the entire way except to suck down water at each and every water station. Although, around mile ten I was tempted to call an ambulance. I hated mile eleven and thought I would surely die through mile twelve.

Have mercy!

My muscles are sore and I am a bit whinny so my family is constantly reminding me today that THIS WAS MY IDEA. My daughter looked at me over lunch and said, "Mom, let's remember this, shall we, the next time you talk about signing up again. However, I still feel.....good. I feel like I fought the good fight and prevailed.

2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

I learned a few things while on this journey.

• Train early and train often. I had to prepare for this event starting in September. We trained early 5:30 a.m. Three short runs 3-5 miles, three mornings a week, followed by a long run on Saturday 7-10 miles.

• Share the pain and the victories with a friend. These are my friends, Karrie, Jolene, and Tanya. I love these women. They put up with me and my slow running for months. My BFF, Pam was injured and knocked out last month but she took time to telephone me shortly after I finished with an enthusiastic - Congratulations! Beth my other BFF checked on me yesterday and after I arrive home. God has given me such great friends. Most of these gals attend church with me.

• Don't give up when you're tempted, hurting, and just plain beat up. I began praying around mile nine. By mile eleven, I was whispering between breaths, Philippians 4:13. By mile 12 my prayers consisted of, "Help me Jesus, Help me Jesus, Help me Jesus." He listened.

• Finally, there are many others out there who need encouragement, and a little help and there were those who helped me. The water station people ROCKED. Local bands were stationed on the course playing music and half the town of Carlsbad came out to cheer and clap. They ROCKED. The other runners ROCKED.

What an experience!

Hebrew 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

I wonder if you, like me, see these lessons dovetail into our faith walk?

Commitment to God often requires we rise early and often to read and pray.  

Share the journey.....the pain and the joys.

Don't give up when you are temped, hurting and plain beat up. There are others who encourage and help us and we must do the same.

If you ask me today, "Would you run another marathon?" I would say, "Not a chance. Period. The end."

But one certain thing all my years of living with Jesus has taught me, never say never. Love all of you. Hope your week ROCKS and God surrounds you early and often as you share your life with those in your world who are on this race with you!

God bless, Lynn

Also, Marriage Monday arrives next week, February 2nd. And it will be hosted HERE. I can't wait. So sharpen that pen, I mean fingers and start typing. The Surprise of Christian Marriage is our topic and I know everyone is surprised by marriage. I want to hear your story. Thanks e-Mom.

Covetousness is a Mirage - Weekend Devotion

By Amy Forbes

I've been going through a period of unsettlement over the last few months. Too many times I've been unhappy with my marriage, unhappy with who I married and just generally unhappy with my life. My friends are better off financially and their relationships seem to be without problems but I was looking at what was going on from an outside perspective. I was so busy looking at what they had and wishing I had the same that I was failing to pay attention to what I did have. I can't count the number of times I whined to God "Why me God, why do I have to be stuck here when I want to be somewhere else?” I pointed and pointed the finger at my husband "He's the one with the problem God, he's done this and he's done that....look what he just did, it's not fair." I complained endlessly. 

Then a few weeks ago instead of changing my husband God once again changed me. He started showing me what I did have instead of what I didn't have. I have a husband who is a good father and provider who works his butt off for what we have. We aren't rich but we manage and we have lots to be thankful for. My children are healthy and we're alive.

God showed me that the times I looked at others and wanted what they had was when I was coveting. Coveting means:

As it says in Exodus 20:17

You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

This article I found has this to say about coveting: Covetousness is a mirage that produces wretchedness. It fixes our gaze on something we do not have, so that we don't praise God for what we do have.

That pretty much says in a nutshell what I was doing while I was coveting/wanting what others had. God doesn't want us to be unsettled and greedy. There's a reason why He wants us to feel contented with what we do have and that reason is so we can learn and grow in His wisdom not the wisdom of the world.

Amy is a born again Christian and a former wicca (story for another day). She is married with three children and lives in a small town in New Zealand. She works part-time developing websites. Amy is a frequent guest writer at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. She is faithful to share how God has worked in her life, her husband's life and in their marriage. You can find Amy at her personal blog, Home With Amy and I Love Vintage Things.

Do you Have an Answer for the Hope You Have?

What Jersey are you wearing?

 

You know I am anxious to get rolling about this "Big" subject, defending our faith. You know, this subject is really about our identity in Christ. It is about courage, and how our faith grows over the years through study and real-life practice. I have been storing up words and thoughts since December to encourage you and help you navigate sharing your faith or at least standing confident in the truth. This is especially a sensitive area when answering the hard questions our spouse will ask.

 

Sometimes, however, I think as believers we could be better prepared to answer the questions about our beliefs. Because I was married to an agnostic for so many years, I know they need and honestly want answers that we are ill prepared to supply.

 

Let me be specific. Most of us learn our faith from our churches. Our Bibles, the infallible word of God, is our final source and truth about all things. But, how can you talk with unbelievers when they deny the Bible as a viable source of evidence? Okay, sometimes we just say, it is a matter of faith. But, often times I think we can offer sound and principled arguments to support our faith.

 

One of the best examples of defending the faith in the face of unbelievers and remain credible was aired on NBC Nightline. Rick Warren of Saddleback Church offers a fantastic defense of marriage that holds water not only on a Biblical basis but also as to those who don't believe in the Bible.

 

I bring this video forward to help you be prepared for the next time you are in a place to stand up for the truth. The truth is God created marriage, it is ordained by God and it is the best thing for the individual, the family and our society. Although this video is titled, Rick Warren on gay marriage, what I found is this: It is not so much about gay marriage but is an intelligent and strong argument for the defense of traditional, Biblical marriage.

 

 

 

What do you think? Be Blessed, Lynn

Thankful Thursday - It's A Girl!

I can't begin to thank all of you for your encouragement and prayers for my husband's salvation and his search for new employment. Overwhelmed, just doesn't cover it.

But today I want to share another special person with you. I rarely talk about her because my writing focus is marriage relationships but she is a gift from God, my daughter, Caitie.

She is thirteen going on twenty-eight, if you know what I mean and she has got the "Mom, I can't believe you said that" eye-roll down to an art form. But, she is a delight to my world. And a princess to her Daddy.

My daughter plays the flute in her Middle School band. This past week she moved up to second chair-flutist. She is now planning to tackle the number one chair, Annie, who has managed to cling to that spot the entire year. She plays beautifully and we make a wonderful piano-flute duet when playing Silent Night. Yum, wonderful memories.

Somehow she has caught this strange bug. A writing bug. It must be a contagion in our water around here. She has already prepared several chapters of her first fiction novel, Angora, and is sharing it around school with her friends.

I know..... She did not get it from me.

Although I am proud of her accomplishments, what I adore about her is - simply her. She is kind-hearted, funny, witty, and just so much fun to hang out with. We laugh together until I get the eye-ball roll. Then I just laugh louder. We hug and care for each other, comforting and encouraging, with a smile when the other needs it. She helps around the house and is a good student and citizen. She loves Jesus.

I do not deserve this kind of blessing and I know the mean-teen years are still ahead, but I am delighted the Lord sent this child into my life. She will always be my forever friend and beloved daughter.

Love you girl. Your Mom.

Be blessed, Lynn

For more Thankful Thursday blessings, visit Lori at Laurel Wreaths Reflections.

God’s Umbrella

One morning an interesting thought struck me. All our trials and sufferings fall under the umbrella of God’s protection, but beneath that covering they diverge into two areas: consequences and circumstances.

Consequences are the result of our poor choices. Sometime we just make mistakes. It’s inevitable. Sometimes God allows us to experience them in order to learn from our mistake so that we can make better choices next time. We don’t like being in this place, but we learn and grow. And our character is strengthened.

Circumstances describes those events that upon first glance seem to come out of the blue and can even seem unfair (think of Job). We did not cause the difficult situation by making poor choices and we have little to no control over it. They just happen. God allows these times to mold us, to teach us vital understanding, emotions, and spiritual lessons, which He will call upon in the future. This is when massive connections are forged between past, present, and future. These are the experiences that God often uses to minister to others and bring comfort  (see 2Cor. 1).

Both sides converge together in a metaphorical handle in the shape of obedience and trust. In the middle (at the shaft) both feel the same to us, and sometimes we are unsure which side we are on. Spending time with God and in his Word is even more vital at these times.

In the end, the results are the same no matter which side we’re on, and we’ll inevitably be on both sides at various times. But we have the promise that God works for our good regardless of whether the situation is due to consequences or circumstances (Romans 8:28). We can choose to stay under the umbrella and learn what God is teaching, or stray and get extremely wet, downtrodden, and lost.

So if you’re in the rain, run back under God’s umbrella. It’s the best place to find God’s grace, mercy, and unconditional love.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Chronicles of The Donovan Clan

Friday was my husband’s last day on the job. It all began when I was finally able to pray earnestly “The” Dangerous Prayer, Lord, do whatever it takes to save my husband. Scroll down or click here to read Friday’s Post or click here to read the dangerous prayer that I prayed two years ago.

Friday I shared some fantastic events. God reached out to assure me that He was in this trial. He wants me to pray and not worry. So many scriptures rush to my head as I am now walking this very real path. The years of Bible reading and writing the verses upon my heart have reach maturity. It is a profound time to realize all the preparation God has done to enable me to walk confidently down this road without a pit of fear in my stomach.

This is what God is doing in me at this time. But, look what is taking place in my husband.

Last week my guy rose early, dressed, and headed off to church with me. To shock me further, he joined me on Wednesday night for a small group meeting. Okay, something is seriously up for my guy to attend two “churchy” type things in a single week.

Can I get an Amen?

I have waited many, long years for this time. I have dreamed, prayed, hoped for my husband’s day of faith and this could be the time.

With this said, I have been here before. In 2004 my husband was on a quest. He purchased a Bible, attended the Seekers Class at our church and then…… nothing.

I was crushed and for a while I was hurt and angry, not with my guy (okay, I probably was) but at God. I couldn’t understand how He could have ignored the years of prayers I uttered. I was devastated because the moment of truth arrived and my husband chose to reject Christ. Pretty worrisome stuff!

Do you suppose this happened because God wanted to work more on me and perhaps birth a blog for us to share our thoughts and help one another? Hmmmmmm.

What I do know is that God continues to relentlessly pursue my husband. He will not quit. He will never give up; He desperately loves my stubborn mate and will never stop. Because of this, God still commands me to pray and never surrender hope.

NEVER!

I can only wait on the sidelines and see what unfolds in the months ahead. The Lord delights me almost weekly now with an intense intervention in our lives. As I watch the miraculous happen around me, I will share them with you. It is vitally important for us to encourage one another with our stories of God moving in our lives. So, I will keep typing if you will keep stopping. *grin*

The battle is not over but the battle is the Lord’s.

1 Samuel 17:47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands."

Thank you everyone for your prayers, your words of encouragement and hope. Your words spoken for me are the jewels which glisten in my tiny crown that I place at the feet of Jesus as I thank Him for your friendship and love.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man (or woman) who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

I pray that when your trial comes, you will consider me your friend who will walk side-by-side with you holding you up before our King. Have a fantastic week. I hope you see Jesus at work all around you and have an intense encounter with the Divine this very day. Be Blessed, Lynn

Team Marriage - Weekend Devotion

He doesn't notice her new sweater, says nothing about dinner, and turns the television on as soon as dishes are done. She wants to throw something at him to induce his attention. Instead, she produces his smile as she plops herself on the couch next to him, remembering an important fact.

He is on the same team.

Because she asks him to, he stops at the grocery store on the way home. Often he is in a hurry when she calls and he doesn't write down her list. She knows he's done it again as she unpacks the bag, missing one item. She starts muttering under her breath, getting ready to chastise him for his inability to get a simple job done right until she is forgetting too.

He is on her team.

She disagrees with him and secretly rolls her eyes at his suggestions. Resentment and anger try to poke their heads out. "He doesn't get it," she thinks, "How can he not see?"

If she were pumping up the pastor or encouraging her child's teacher, she would have kind comments. She would speak respectfully, choosing her words deliberately. She scolds herself as she recognizes he deserves the same courtesy, whether they see eye to eye or not, for one simple reason.

He leads her team.

Some days they seem so far apart, he in his world, she inhabiting her own. "Who is this man, this alien, who thinks so differently than me?" she wonders. How can she trust him? There is no choice. He is God's gift to her, the mate specifically provided for her. She recalls God's defining statement, "Two shall be as one."

He IS her team.

An insult to him belittles her as well. When she snubs him, she ignores herself. If she attacks him, she puts a chink in her own armor.

But forgiving him heals her hurt. Prayers for him cover her too. Loving him nurtures her heart.

They won't always think the same, want identical things, or even understand the other, but as husband and wife they are one.

A team.

Tami shares her life with her husband of 22 years, Kevin, a Creative Arts Pastor, and their four children in Beatrice, Nebraska. Tami keeps busy staying on top of her kids and their activities, leading Ladies Bible studies, writing, singing in choir and worship team, playing clarinet and saxophone, lunching with friends and hanging out with her husband. Get to know Tami at her blog, The Next Step.