Spiritually Mismatched - Weekend Devotion

Welcome to Weekend Devotions at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. Dineen and I pray the weekend devotional will enrich your marriage and your relationship with God. Be Blessed, Lynn

Surely, I have all the Answers!

I reasoned since I have read the Good Book, surely “I” must have all the answers. Because my husband doesn’t believe it was obviously up to me to keep this family traveling in the right direction.

I thought because I knew God that I had to be control. After all, I know what’s best and I had better watch out for me, and the kids and clearly my husband. It was up to me to direct my man to safe people and safe places.

I tried all of the usual things. I would arrange a “casual” get together with a Christian couple. I would manipulate my husband to attend church. And yes (shudder) I would leave scripture verses on 3x5 cards conveniently placed around the house.

What I was really doing was mothering my mate. These silly and controlling actions only made my husband feel emasculated and resentful. Those feelings emerged in our daily life to tear at our relationship leaving me feeling anxious, frustrated, and fearful.

The truth is I surely do not have all of the answers. I had to learn to respect my husband’s need for freedom. He must choose for himself even if he chooses unwisely. In fact, my good intentions to guide my man away from certain ideas or activities may have interfered in the very circumstances that could have brought him to the cross.

I am far from perfect. I mess up on a daily basis yet slowly, surely the gospel is alive in my life as a witness for truth. I trust Jesus to do the rest of the work.

As spouses of nonbelievers we mean well, however, when we try to control our mate to the foot of the cross the result is disappointment. What we can do is to pray every day for our husband and show him respect. Then trust the Lord to do the rest.

Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Lord, You know my heart. You know I see life from an eternal perspective. I want my husband to know you. I know I often get in your way but I truly want the best for my husband. Teach me to stand aside and allow your work to be accomplished. Teach me to trust you and approach your throne everyday with my husband’s name on my lips. Lord, I freely give him over to you. I trust you to do what is best for both of us. In Jesus name, Amen.

Comments

[Denise]

Thanks for this, be blessed.

[Tami Boesiger]

There are some GREAT lessons for all of us here, Lynn.

Don't "mother" your mate. (Yep, I've been guilty.)
Sometimes God uses the ugly to achieve His purposes.
Respect your mate above all.
Pray your little heart out.
Let God do His thing.

Have you considered submitting these ideas to Marriage Monday at Chrysalis this week? They would fit right in with the topic. Thanks for an outstanding post.

[karen]

Women...we do tend to organize and order all things in our lives, don't we? These are wise comments for any of us to follow whether equally or unequally yoked in our marriages. Thank you.

[Cheryl]

I know exactly where you are coming from. I feel like I have been there and done that. Things have worked out for me but I do have this "I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL" thing still try and slip into my marriage. I am trying to work on it though. Thanks for your post.

[Connie]

Well said...I love your heart...

in the same sense, I had always wanted my husband to worship in a certain way.. and when he did not meet "my" expectations well, I pouted, kicked the sand and all the childish things to get his attention. Like it really worked... ha...

Wise advice of a friend, "Let him go." Eventually, I did..I wasn't making headway anyway.

My Friend, Papa... Abba..., God... gave me something beyond my expectations... my husband ended up going through a discipleship training course where his heart was unlocked of all his old belief's, and there he had a courtship with Jesus that totally knocked his socks off. in turn, he now courts me in a new way that is so precious...

Would I rather have him the way I was pursuing or God's way?? no brainer...

btw, I have something for you on my blog...

love ya girl...
Connie

[Iris]

What beautiful words of wisdom. It is true, no matter if our beloved are believers or non-believers, we always need to treat them with respect. It took me a while to figure this out.

Blessings to you and yours.

[Amy]

wow I can SO relate to this. It took me to stop nagging and asking my dh to church before he mentioned even coming with me. Just goes to show doesn't it?

[Crystal]

This is such a great reminder! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I have learnt so much from you this last year! I have an award for you, come check it out!
Blessings

[Somayya]

I have been having a very difficult time over the festive season. From having my heartbroken by my husband not coming home to him telling me that he doesnt feel that I respect him or treat him like a man. I am in an unequally yoked marrige and find it tremedously difficult to accept the pain and the distance that is caused between us. I find it extremely difficult to point finger at him because I am to stay in my knees and respect him no matter what. This passage has encouraged me to be humble and prayerful ......The Lord wil iron out any difficulties.

[e-Mom]

Gosh, I'm sure every woman is guilty of all of these "methods" for making over her mate ... even the 3x5 cards! I used to leave certain books about Christian marriage around for my husband to "discover." How fruitless that all was.
:~D

The biggest change came when I started thanking him for every big and little thing he did. Suddenly he felt appreciated, not emasculated, and good enough about himself to make some changes for me. If only women had sensitive egos, instead of sensitive feelings... how differently we would view the world--and our mates.

Love ya much, e-Mom